Our Phoenix

The days tick by as we await our travel authorization and consulate appointment. In the meantime, we are slowly getting more information on Ariana. Her Chinese name, Feng, means Phoenix. In Chinese Mythology, the Phoenix is a symbol of high virtue and grace, of power and prosperity, the union of yin and yang. A thoughtful creature.

I see that thoughtfulness in her pictures - an old soul is my little one. The weight of her experience so far is evident on her face, as is the resillience mentioned in her report. And I know she was loved. And I mourn. I mourn for the loss she has suffered. I mourn the loss her birth parents felt living under a system which left them no choice. No choice but to do what they did in the hopes their child would be taken care of. And she was, by some very caring people. And she will be...forever and ever.

A Baby in the House

This is Maya and Angelina. They came over to play yesterday with their parents. Actually, it was our first time entertaining - we had a barbeque, with hamburgers and hot dogs, cole slaw and potato salad - very American.

It was also the first time with a two year old in the house and I must say, it was enlightening. Arny got very nervous when Maya went over to the glass window (which goes from floor to ceiling) and put her hands on it – he knew it was securely attached to the building but still; he now wants to get a piece of furniture to block access as the thought of Ariana flying through the air nine stories to the ground was too much for him to even contemplate.

Getting used to someone that is knee high will take some time. I had to think and look down before I moved for fear of knocking her over as she would silently come up next to me.

There will be no more things artfully arranged on the coffee table, or any low surface for that matter. They are curious little buggers, aren’t they?

And yes, the bamboo shoots I have in vases on the floor must be moved.

Note to self: locks on cabinets, locks on cabinets, locks on cabinets!!!

But on the other hand, hearing the squeals of joy and laughter as she found something new, watching her smile with satisfaction as she rolled the big medicine ball to me in the hall and listening to this adorable one speak Japanese was priceless!!

I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait.......

On a Clear day..

we can see Mount Fuji from the balcony outside Jed's room.....

Ariana

While we are waiting for the official translated documents about our daughter, husband-san's boss kindly translated a two page document outlining her life since she got to the orphanage. Some things we learned:

Though not evident in the pictures, she does smile.
She is quiet and shy (just like I was when I was little)
She likes music - and dances to it (again, just like her mama)
She likes to rock on a rocking horse (note to self - go back to Toys r'us!!)
She likes to cry (ok, not to happy about this one!!)
Is cooperative when getting her clothes put on (this is good)

These little snippets of information make her that much more real. The other day I took out a tape measure and measures up from the floor her reported height.

She comes up to the middle of my thigh....................just imagine.......

“Gaijin mommy, gaijin”

...the little boy excited said to his mother over and over, as he pulled on her shirt and pointed. His mother, irritated not only at the boy continual chant, but at the possibility we knew what he was saying, kept shushing him, to no avail. You see, Gaijin is generally thought of as a derogatory word meaning something in between "foreigner" and "invading devil" in Japanese. Personally, I thought it was funny; both the boy and mother’s reaction. We were on the monorail out to Odaiba, an area of Tokyo newly developed. It is a beautiful ride over the Rainbow Bridge. We went to finally buy a couch to replace the one that wouldn't fit into our apartment, which we did, and get husband san some jeans (also did).

We also ventured into Toy’s r us. Having had a previous experience with Toys r us, written about in an earlier post last year, I am surprised I actually wanted to go. But then again, that was before I had anyone specific to buy things for. It was surprising in both a good and bad way.

Good - it was not nearly as crowded as the ones in the states.

Bizarre - seeing many recognizable toys sitting on the shelves with Japanese packaging.

Bad – Branding, branding, branding!! Japanese are big on brands here; most clothing has some sort of writing on it, but toys! I don’t think there was one item in the store that was not representative of a larger brand. They even had a play sized McDonald’s restaurant. Why????? I couldn’t find what I was looking for – an etch-a-sketch. Or any other simple basic toy that just was what it was.

Bad – no asian looking dolls. Lots of caucasion looking ones, but not one asian one. No wonder Japanese teenage girls are dying their hair blond and getting eye lid surgery. Sad.

Trailing

New waiters and waitresses spend their first few nights at a restaurant "trailing" a more experienced one; following along to learn what to expect and how to deal with it.

I spent Friday trailing Clare, a friend with a 9 month old and a 2 year old to get a sense of what life is like with a two year old. I learned the following:

1) Two year olds are really fast!

2) Plan any outings with the location of subway elevators in mind. Some have them, some don't and if they don't, you have to schlep both child and stroller up and down many stairs to get to where you want to go.

3) Buy really light stroller with shoulder strap just in case you need to go somewhere on the subway and there are no elevators.

4) Visit the drum museum - they are allowed to touch things and be as loud as they want!!!

5) They love rice balls!!! - these are sticky rice wrapped in seaweed and make a great (if slightly messy) snack!! All the kids here eat them.

6) Wear sensible shoes!!!

7) Buy a knapsack so your bag doesn't slide off your shoulder and hit said two year old in the head.

8) Learn the words to "Old McDonald" - 2 year olds love saying the animal noises and it diverts their attention if they are starting to get bored (or when they get hit in the head with bag - or even worse - fall down and have big grownup fall on top of them because they were holding big grownup's hand and big grownup got off balance when they fell down because big grownup had many bags in her hand!!).

9) Japanese people love babies!!!!

10) Watching a two year old explore the world is priceless!!

The Day After

The entire day yesterday was spent on adrenaline. Having not slept more than a minute or two before "the phonecall" and not a wink after, I survived on excitement, caffeine and sugar as I answered phonecalls and emails and stared at my daughter's (I can finally say that!!!!)face.

I broke away long enough to meet Debra for more coffee and sugar, and a trip to a second hand baby store, where I picked up some of the cutest things for 100 yen (that's less than one dollar!!)

Now, a word about the mystery people leaving comments on my blog. For those who don't know, these are the amazing fellow adoptive parents who I have spent the past many months getting to know online, in cyberspace. Without ever having met, we have supported and encouraged each other through what was THE LONGEST WAIT EVER!!!!!!! Since posting about our referral, I have been contacted by families who have also adopted children from Ariana's orphanage and who are, at this very minute, looking through their photos to see if they have any of her. If so, they have promised to send them. These people are amazing and it makes me proud to be one of them now.

Ariana

She looks just like the girl in my dreams. I am a mother. The longer I look into her eyes, the more I feel it. Older than expected, I don’t care. She is mine. I want to sooth the sad look in her face. I want to make her smile.

I have not slept, being busy making phone calls and answering emails. I keep staring at her face, looking for clues. Who are you little one?

Our Daughter

From May 27, 2005 ....."I had my first baby dream last night. She was a tiny little thing with a full head of shiny black hair. Sometimes she was crawling and at other times she was walking and sometimes running."

From June 19th, 2005..... "Had another dream last night. She was small - maybe 6 months old with a head full of dark, shiny hair".

Today, September 25 (26th if you count being in Japan), 2006, I present Ariana Rose DiLaura, born September 12, 2004 and currently residing in Jaingxi, China.



many tears.........................many happy tears..........

Deep Breath....

It's official - our referral is on the way. By this time tomorrow, you will be able to "call me mama" for real. It is about 3:30pm on Monday here in Tokyo and I won't hear anything until late tonight. Yes, I am going crazy and will continue to do so until the phone rings.

In order to attempt to take my mind off the baby (really and truly impossible) the past few days, I booked myself into many activities just to keep busy (it didn't work). Unfortunately, today I made no plans. So, rather than sit here and hyperventilate, I will tell you about some of the things I've been doing to pass the time.

Thursday - Kita Kamakura

Home of the Kamakura Old Pottery Museum.
Here is the entrance to the museum, housed in a beautiful old farm house that was taken apart out in the countryside somewhere and moved here years ago.



The sign above the door says something to the effect of "you will not get old if you walk through these doors". This led to a discussion about how the Japanese have been interested in anti-aging for thousands of years and how rich people would go though extraordinary means to stay young. Sounds familiar doesn't it??

Here we got a comprehensive history lesson on Japanese pottery, which was originally used for religious purposes. The talk was given by the most engaging man - his sense of humor was evident even through the translation.
We all wanted to take him home.

After a quick lunch, we went to the home and studio of potter Hashimoto Seibin.
He showed us how he works and explained the different techniques he uses. He then invited us into his home for tea. It was so relaxing I forgot about the time and had to rush back to the city to meet Husband-san for a trip out to Jed's school, where we got to meet his teachers and see our own budding artist's work.



Friday - Started a new Japanese class where I learned many useful phrases, how women are thought of as less than most everyone else and how that is reflected in the language and how to avoid buying the really salty raw salmon here. Actually, there was an entire page on the various types of salmon - there are four: no salt, slightly salt, moderately salt and very salt. After buying the very salted by mistake(who knew??) which resulted in Jed probably never even looking at salmon again since he was not really fond of it in the first place, this lesson was particularly valuable.

Then headed out to Tachikawa, home to one of the most diverse group of artists. They all work out of the former warehouses of the US Army. We were taught all about Japanese print making by Oshio Sae, a young artist who combines two different printing techniques in her latest work. She showed us how she does it.


We then went to visit some of the other artists and then stopped at the workshop of Ichiro Yamakami, a young furniture maker. His friend, Hino Iketani makes the most delicious desserts and served us outside on the tables and benches made by Ichiro.
These artists were so generous with their time.

Saturday - Akasaka

For a Japanese cooking class. Got completely lost because my mind was somewhere else (mmm, I wonder where??), I asked a policeman and he pointed - ok, so I followed his finger and seemed more lost, so I hailed a cab and pointed to my Tokyo City Atlas and he got me to where I was going, only 20 minutes late. We made udon noodles from scratch, swordfish in Teriaki sauce and watched the chef make spinach in sesame sauce.
We then sat around eating everything we made.

Latr, the three of us went out for pizza at "La Boheme", a local restaurant where the waiters yell out in unison for no apparant reason. The caesar salad was great (finally!!!) and so was the pizza.

Sunday - Harajuku

We met Debra at "Good Honest Grub" a restaurant owned by a Canadian, where Debra's husband Mark does magic on Sundays. He did a couple of tricks that amazed everyone - one of which he changed a 1000 yen bill into a 5000 yen bill. Everyone decided we really wanted to learn that one!!

This is Maya signaling the waiter for more french toast!!!

I'm done now. It is ten minutes to five. Only six hours to go!!!!