She Runs, She Jumps, She Spins

Since we've been back, Ariana has spent a large amount of time climbing on everything in the apartment, including us. We finally got the hint that perhaps she needed an outlet for this rather new physical need so last week Ariana went to her gym class every morning.

We normally go just on Sunday mornings, but during the summer months, the school holds week long sessions as people are usually looking for things for their children to do inside where it is cool.

A man named Lance Lee runs the class and his four sons, ranging in age from 15 to 21 are the teachers. They are patient and really work with the kids. Ariana was the youngest and was very hesitant at first, but as you can see, she really got into the swing of things.

Here she is attempting a back bend. At the beginning, she couldn't hold herself up, but at the last session, she could almost do it without help.

At lunch she hung out with the older girls, who seemed to like having a "little sister" to take care of.

The week before, we tried a swim class, which Ariana liked a lot. She especially liked the goggles, so much so........................
.................that she fell asleep wearing the ones I bought her. After that day, we went to a public pool in the next town over, where she splashed around until she was all wrinkled like a prune. It is good she likes the water, because it has been so hot here, hanging out in the pool is a good way to spend the day.

It is very quiet, friend wise, during July and August as that is when many expats go back to their native countries for the summer. Add to that several friends who moved back, and both Ariana and I have not had that many people to play with.

It has given us time to catch up with some people we rarely see. And I have had a couple of dinners with my working girl friends, which is always much fun. Baba san and I went to dinner to celebrate my friend Gill's publication of her new book, one she wrote with her friend Sherrie. ' They are both professors - Gill's subject is political economics here in Japan and Sherrie's is political science and women's studies in the states. There was a great mix of people and we all had a great time until it was time to go home. In the cab I got really sad because it was the kind of night my mother would have loved hearing about.

But I can't call anymore.

What to Say

I haven't written for some time now. Every time I started, I stopped because I didn't know what to say. What can you say?

My mother died on July 8th. I have avoided thinking about it by immersing myself in the day to day stuff that is life. Now that things are slowing down, I am beginning to understand the repercussions.

She was so much part of my daily life. The daily phone call, our lifeline since we moved to Japan, would start my day on most mornings. We would talk about everything, from politics to bridge. Towards the end, our conversation was limited by her hearing loss and refusal to wear her hearing aid. But still, I miss that connection.

Her humor, most of the time not intentional, was hysterical. A few days before she died we were having a conversation about reincarnation. I asked her what she wanted to come back as and she said “a six foot blond”. That was my mother.

When a clearly ignorant aide asked my mother in the hospice “what does it feel like to be dying”, my mother replied “I don’t know, I’ll let you know when I’m dead”. She knew she was dying for awhile now. She kept telling me how she was old and had a good life. I never wanted to hear it, believing instead it was her attitude – that she was depressed at not being able to do what she used to do. That she was. But she was also starting the process of saying goodbye. At the time I thought it was annoying, but now I realize what a gift it was. She made me face the idea of the world without her, months before I would actually have to.

She went in peace and with dignity. I am left with the thought that she went the way she wanted to and the knowledge that somewhere, there is a 6 foot blond named Beatrice, enjoying herself immensely.

"Ariana, were's the poopie?"

You know your in for it when you hear yourself say something like that.

As many of you know, we are in the seemingly endless process of potty training. After many false starts and stops, at the suggestion of a friend, she is now wearing "big girl" underpants (at times covered by a pullup) and being taken to the potty regularly. She understands where she is supposed to go ("I go pee pee and poo poo in the potty!") but has not gotten the concept of actually doing it. Ok, so once in awhile she will go as if she is an old pro, but most of the time, I spend an amazing amount of time reminding her "we go poo poo/pee pee in the potty" as I sit patiently as I watch her change her pants and throw the wet/dirty ones away.

A little while ago, she came into my room and holding up a hand clearly covered in you know what, said "momma, help me clean". Trying to stay calm without either screaming or breaking out in hysterical laughter, I asked "is that your poopie?" (we have a dog). Ariana said very seriously "yes".

We went into the bathroom and as she is washing her hands, I inspect her underpants.
They were clean.
I clean up her tush and then ask her where the rest of it is.
"In the potty" she says.

My spirits rose thinking perhaps she went to the toilet in the other bathroom, I ran in, only to be sadly but not unexpectedly disappointed.

"Honey, where is the poopie?"
"in the potty"
"yes honey, we are supposed to go poopie in the potty. Can you tell mama where the rest of the poopie is?"
"in the potty". (is it too early for a cocktail??)

I then spend the next few minutes running around looking and smelling to no avail.

The mystery remains, hopefully never to be found.

Ring Around the Rosy Ariana's Way

Pictures - Up at the Beach

hanging out with Nana....
Baba and Ariana after a choppy ride on Lake Erie.....
playing with friends Jack and Susan at the Zoo in Canada....
Aunts Norma and Virgina, cousin Kay, Gramps after a lovely lunch in Batavia in upstate NY

Gramps reading his Father's Day card.....

Home At Last...

........and how sweet it is.

For those who know, this one has been anything but relaxing, with my mother in and out of the hospital. I actually left New York on Wednesday to fly back down to Florida, putting the likelihood of making the Friday night flight to Tokyo in jeopardy. Despite the extra flights, I am glad I did as I probably avoided an even longer hospital stay for my mother by being there and opening my mouth.

To describe the scene at the hospital would take too long. I will just say that I have never seen such disinterest and incompetence, putting my mother's health at stake. Frankly, the experience has made us rethink living so far away.

Unfortunately, since my time in NY was cut short, I wasn't able to see or speak to everyone I wanted to. But, we did get to have some fun and here are the pictures to prove it.......I'll post more of the whole trip tomorrow.....


Molly, Max and Ariana bonding over chips and salsa.....
being creative with sidewalk chalk.....

being creative getting the sidewalk chalk off.......
Mia and Ariana at the Children's Museum...



Ariana and Baba experiencing the best of New York - sitting outside on a lovely day on the Upper West Side people watching..

"Mommy, Ariana's crazy!".....

....said Molly as Ariana ran loops around the house screaming. We were visiting our friends the Mutch's on Sunday and Ariana was screaming with joy as she, Molly and Max played together. First in the house, then outside in the backyard with the sprinklers and sidewalk chalk, it brought tears to several people's eyes as they watched them enjoy each other.

As I looked at the outdoor climbing gym complete with slide, I remembered taking pictures there with Max and Molly for our dossier as we started our journey for Ariana. Here we were, watching her climb around like a little monkey, Molly and her only months apart.

We are spending our last few days visiting with friends in NY after a lovely few days up at the beach with Nana and Gramps. Ariana met her aunt Norma for the first time and was able to see Aunt Virginia and cousins Suzie, Bob and Kay. We also got to visit with old friends from Tokyo.
My mother is back in the hospital - not the best news and certainly worrying, but she expects to get out today.

I hope.

Better Times

Just a quick note - mom is home and doing much better. We were able to meet baba in Canada and have a lovely few days (too few days if you ask me) at the beach. Ariana was able to spend the day with her friend Jack, who she knew in Tokyo, and we were able to visit with aunts Norma and Virginia and cousins Kay, Suzanne and Bob.

We leave tomorrow for NYC and friends and will be back in Tokyo this time next week.

Will write more and post pix soon.

Not So Hot or Sunny

Grandma showing Ariana pictures of mama at 16.....see the amazed look on her face.....


On Tuesday my mother was taken to the hospital and has been there ever since. Every day we think she will get out and every day they say maybe tomorrow. A cardiac specialist was in yesterday and they are now treating her heart. They have her on a concoction of medication that will hopefully stabilize her and allow her to leave.



So, Jed graduated yesterday successfully and today there will be a baba san family lunch, both of which were events I wanted to attend, but will have to hear about instead. I was really looking forward to the lunch, as I would have met relatives for the first time. More importantly, Ariana would have too. So, for all of those relatives who are reading this, you will just have to come to Japan and visit us there.....



Speaking of Ariana, she has been brilliant throughout. We have been spending a lot of time in the hospital and she has been so good, playing with the toys we packed and also with the "glove" balloons our favorite nurse Donna keeps making for her. I am grateful because the time has been quite stressful. Her stellar behavior has just made it so much easier.

I have been rewarding her actions by getting out every day either to the pool or the zoo or the science musuem or some other what I think will be fun for her activity. I think the pool is her favorite.

Everyone keep your fingers crossed my mother will be home soon and we can continue our summer vacation.

Sunny Smiles

Here we are in sunny Florida - the weather has been great and Ariana has been charming everyone here. Everyone, except for the nasty woman in the pool who made her way over to us just to say "you know children aren't allowed in here".

Now, we have been going every day since we got here - Ariana laughing and splashing and having a fine time; the residents laughing and splashing and commenting on just how cute she is. Not once did I hear anything about her not being allowed. And I said as much to the woman in the pool. Nicely. She replied "Well, those are the rules". "Really?" I said, "I don't see that posted anywhere". "Well, I know" she replied. I ignored her. She continued "this is for adults only". Oh just shut up (no I did not say this out loud, because I am a nice person).

We made our way to the other end for awhile and then got out as planned. As we walked towards our towels, she commented on how cute Ariana was. I didn't reply. She didn't deserve it.


While we have spent most of the time here visiting with grandma, we did visit with new friends Glenda and Samantha yesterday. One of the many wonderful aspects of adoption, in particular Chinese adoption, is this amazing network of people all over the world. Through Families with Children from China, a worldwide organization, I was able to connect with Glenda. We spent the morning at a little water park and then had lunch and ice cream. It was nice Ariana and I got a chance to play with people our own ages.

Ariana has made friends with two of the residents here - Sydney, who she now calls "my boyfriend" and Dorothy, a woman who gives her rides in her wheelchair. In the dining room, she travels between them and her plate, keeping the waiters and waitresses on their toes. She is warming up to Basil and Dorothy, my mother's table mates, but they are not quite as much fun.

We leave tomorrow to meet baba in Washington, where she will have a whole new group of people to charm. I know she is up to the task.