New waiters and waitresses spend their first few nights at a restaurant "trailing" a more experienced one; following along to learn what to expect and how to deal with it.
I spent Friday trailing Clare, a friend with a 9 month old and a 2 year old to get a sense of what life is like with a two year old. I learned the following:
1) Two year olds are really fast!
2) Plan any outings with the location of subway elevators in mind. Some have them, some don't and if they don't, you have to schlep both child and stroller up and down many stairs to get to where you want to go.
3) Buy really light stroller with shoulder strap just in case you need to go somewhere on the subway and there are no elevators.
4) Visit the drum museum - they are allowed to touch things and be as loud as they want!!!
5) They love rice balls!!! - these are sticky rice wrapped in seaweed and make a great (if slightly messy) snack!! All the kids here eat them.
6) Wear sensible shoes!!!
7) Buy a knapsack so your bag doesn't slide off your shoulder and hit said two year old in the head.
8) Learn the words to "Old McDonald" - 2 year olds love saying the animal noises and it diverts their attention if they are starting to get bored (or when they get hit in the head with bag - or even worse - fall down and have big grownup fall on top of them because they were holding big grownup's hand and big grownup got off balance when they fell down because big grownup had many bags in her hand!!).
9) Japanese people love babies!!!!
10) Watching a two year old explore the world is priceless!!
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
The Day After
The entire day yesterday was spent on adrenaline. Having not slept more than a minute or two before "the phonecall" and not a wink after, I survived on excitement, caffeine and sugar as I answered phonecalls and emails and stared at my daughter's (I can finally say that!!!!)face.
I broke away long enough to meet Debra for more coffee and sugar, and a trip to a second hand baby store, where I picked up some of the cutest things for 100 yen (that's less than one dollar!!)
Now, a word about the mystery people leaving comments on my blog. For those who don't know, these are the amazing fellow adoptive parents who I have spent the past many months getting to know online, in cyberspace. Without ever having met, we have supported and encouraged each other through what was THE LONGEST WAIT EVER!!!!!!! Since posting about our referral, I have been contacted by families who have also adopted children from Ariana's orphanage and who are, at this very minute, looking through their photos to see if they have any of her. If so, they have promised to send them. These people are amazing and it makes me proud to be one of them now.
I broke away long enough to meet Debra for more coffee and sugar, and a trip to a second hand baby store, where I picked up some of the cutest things for 100 yen (that's less than one dollar!!)
Now, a word about the mystery people leaving comments on my blog. For those who don't know, these are the amazing fellow adoptive parents who I have spent the past many months getting to know online, in cyberspace. Without ever having met, we have supported and encouraged each other through what was THE LONGEST WAIT EVER!!!!!!! Since posting about our referral, I have been contacted by families who have also adopted children from Ariana's orphanage and who are, at this very minute, looking through their photos to see if they have any of her. If so, they have promised to send them. These people are amazing and it makes me proud to be one of them now.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Ariana
She looks just like the girl in my dreams. I am a mother. The longer I look into her eyes, the more I feel it. Older than expected, I don’t care. She is mine. I want to sooth the sad look in her face. I want to make her smile.
I have not slept, being busy making phone calls and answering emails. I keep staring at her face, looking for clues. Who are you little one?
I have not slept, being busy making phone calls and answering emails. I keep staring at her face, looking for clues. Who are you little one?
Our Daughter
From May 27, 2005 ....."I had my first baby dream last night. She was a tiny little thing with a full head of shiny black hair. Sometimes she was crawling and at other times she was walking and sometimes running."
From June 19th, 2005..... "Had another dream last night. She was small - maybe 6 months old with a head full of dark, shiny hair".
Today, September 25 (26th if you count being in Japan), 2006, I present Ariana Rose DiLaura, born September 12, 2004 and currently residing in Jaingxi, China.
many tears.........................many happy tears..........
From June 19th, 2005..... "Had another dream last night. She was small - maybe 6 months old with a head full of dark, shiny hair".
Today, September 25 (26th if you count being in Japan), 2006, I present Ariana Rose DiLaura, born September 12, 2004 and currently residing in Jaingxi, China.
many tears.........................many happy tears..........
Monday, September 25, 2006
Deep Breath....
It's official - our referral is on the way. By this time tomorrow, you will be able to "call me mama" for real. It is about 3:30pm on Monday here in Tokyo and I won't hear anything until late tonight. Yes, I am going crazy and will continue to do so until the phone rings.
In order to attempt to take my mind off the baby (really and truly impossible) the past few days, I booked myself into many activities just to keep busy (it didn't work). Unfortunately, today I made no plans. So, rather than sit here and hyperventilate, I will tell you about some of the things I've been doing to pass the time.
Thursday - Kita Kamakura
Home of the Kamakura Old Pottery Museum.
Here is the entrance to the museum, housed in a beautiful old farm house that was taken apart out in the countryside somewhere and moved here years ago.
The sign above the door says something to the effect of "you will not get old if you walk through these doors". This led to a discussion about how the Japanese have been interested in anti-aging for thousands of years and how rich people would go though extraordinary means to stay young. Sounds familiar doesn't it??
Here we got a comprehensive history lesson on Japanese pottery, which was originally used for religious purposes. The talk was given by the most engaging man - his sense of humor was evident even through the translation.
We all wanted to take him home.
After a quick lunch, we went to the home and studio of potter Hashimoto Seibin.
He showed us how he works and explained the different techniques he uses. He then invited us into his home for tea. It was so relaxing I forgot about the time and had to rush back to the city to meet Husband-san for a trip out to Jed's school, where we got to meet his teachers and see our own budding artist's work.
Friday - Started a new Japanese class where I learned many useful phrases, how women are thought of as less than most everyone else and how that is reflected in the language and how to avoid buying the really salty raw salmon here. Actually, there was an entire page on the various types of salmon - there are four: no salt, slightly salt, moderately salt and very salt. After buying the very salted by mistake(who knew??) which resulted in Jed probably never even looking at salmon again since he was not really fond of it in the first place, this lesson was particularly valuable.
Then headed out to Tachikawa, home to one of the most diverse group of artists. They all work out of the former warehouses of the US Army. We were taught all about Japanese print making by Oshio Sae, a young artist who combines two different printing techniques in her latest work. She showed us how she does it.
We then went to visit some of the other artists and then stopped at the workshop of Ichiro Yamakami, a young furniture maker. His friend, Hino Iketani makes the most delicious desserts and served us outside on the tables and benches made by Ichiro.
These artists were so generous with their time.
Saturday - Akasaka
For a Japanese cooking class. Got completely lost because my mind was somewhere else (mmm, I wonder where??), I asked a policeman and he pointed - ok, so I followed his finger and seemed more lost, so I hailed a cab and pointed to my Tokyo City Atlas and he got me to where I was going, only 20 minutes late. We made udon noodles from scratch, swordfish in Teriaki sauce and watched the chef make spinach in sesame sauce.
We then sat around eating everything we made.
Latr, the three of us went out for pizza at "La Boheme", a local restaurant where the waiters yell out in unison for no apparant reason. The caesar salad was great (finally!!!) and so was the pizza.
Sunday - Harajuku
We met Debra at "Good Honest Grub" a restaurant owned by a Canadian, where Debra's husband Mark does magic on Sundays. He did a couple of tricks that amazed everyone - one of which he changed a 1000 yen bill into a 5000 yen bill. Everyone decided we really wanted to learn that one!!
This is Maya signaling the waiter for more french toast!!!
In order to attempt to take my mind off the baby (really and truly impossible) the past few days, I booked myself into many activities just to keep busy (it didn't work). Unfortunately, today I made no plans. So, rather than sit here and hyperventilate, I will tell you about some of the things I've been doing to pass the time.
Thursday - Kita Kamakura
Home of the Kamakura Old Pottery Museum.
Here is the entrance to the museum, housed in a beautiful old farm house that was taken apart out in the countryside somewhere and moved here years ago.
The sign above the door says something to the effect of "you will not get old if you walk through these doors". This led to a discussion about how the Japanese have been interested in anti-aging for thousands of years and how rich people would go though extraordinary means to stay young. Sounds familiar doesn't it??
Here we got a comprehensive history lesson on Japanese pottery, which was originally used for religious purposes. The talk was given by the most engaging man - his sense of humor was evident even through the translation.
We all wanted to take him home.
After a quick lunch, we went to the home and studio of potter Hashimoto Seibin.
He showed us how he works and explained the different techniques he uses. He then invited us into his home for tea. It was so relaxing I forgot about the time and had to rush back to the city to meet Husband-san for a trip out to Jed's school, where we got to meet his teachers and see our own budding artist's work.
Friday - Started a new Japanese class where I learned many useful phrases, how women are thought of as less than most everyone else and how that is reflected in the language and how to avoid buying the really salty raw salmon here. Actually, there was an entire page on the various types of salmon - there are four: no salt, slightly salt, moderately salt and very salt. After buying the very salted by mistake(who knew??) which resulted in Jed probably never even looking at salmon again since he was not really fond of it in the first place, this lesson was particularly valuable.
Then headed out to Tachikawa, home to one of the most diverse group of artists. They all work out of the former warehouses of the US Army. We were taught all about Japanese print making by Oshio Sae, a young artist who combines two different printing techniques in her latest work. She showed us how she does it.
We then went to visit some of the other artists and then stopped at the workshop of Ichiro Yamakami, a young furniture maker. His friend, Hino Iketani makes the most delicious desserts and served us outside on the tables and benches made by Ichiro.
These artists were so generous with their time.
Saturday - Akasaka
For a Japanese cooking class. Got completely lost because my mind was somewhere else (mmm, I wonder where??), I asked a policeman and he pointed - ok, so I followed his finger and seemed more lost, so I hailed a cab and pointed to my Tokyo City Atlas and he got me to where I was going, only 20 minutes late. We made udon noodles from scratch, swordfish in Teriaki sauce and watched the chef make spinach in sesame sauce.
We then sat around eating everything we made.
Latr, the three of us went out for pizza at "La Boheme", a local restaurant where the waiters yell out in unison for no apparant reason. The caesar salad was great (finally!!!) and so was the pizza.
Sunday - Harajuku
We met Debra at "Good Honest Grub" a restaurant owned by a Canadian, where Debra's husband Mark does magic on Sundays. He did a couple of tricks that amazed everyone - one of which he changed a 1000 yen bill into a 5000 yen bill. Everyone decided we really wanted to learn that one!!
This is Maya signaling the waiter for more french toast!!!
I'm done now. It is ten minutes to five. Only six hours to go!!!!
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Rumor Has It...
that the referrals are on their way.
Rumor has it that they are in the U.S. now.
Rumor has it that they will be delivered first thing Monday morning .
Rumor has it that the calls will start shortly after that.
Rumor has it that it that I will be a typhoon of emotion and tears. Oh wait, that's not just a rumor..
stay tuned.................
Rumor has it that they are in the U.S. now.
Rumor has it that they will be delivered first thing Monday morning .
Rumor has it that the calls will start shortly after that.
Rumor has it that it that I will be a typhoon of emotion and tears. Oh wait, that's not just a rumor..
stay tuned.................
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Sleepless Nights
My stomach is doing flips as I read on the boards that people are expecting the referrals any day now. My mind is racing – it is after midnight and I am wide awake. It’s as if I want to be awake when the phone call comes and am going to stay awake until then. Could it come so soon? When did it become the end of September?
It is really torture, sitting and waiting. I can’t stand it – I really can't. I can practically hear my heart beating in my chest. I’m ready to jump out of my skin.
There was just a little earthquake – at least I think it was. I can’t even tell anymore. Sometimes they are so small. I’m sitting on the club chair in the living room watching the lights on the tops of the buildings blink on and off signaling to the planes that they are there.
Everyone else is sleeping soundly. The computer is resting on my legs, and it is hot against my skin. Blink…Blink…Blink go the lights. Still, I wait.
It seems Tokyo is churning with me as it is a morning with lots of little tremors – or is that me??
It is really torture, sitting and waiting. I can’t stand it – I really can't. I can practically hear my heart beating in my chest. I’m ready to jump out of my skin.
There was just a little earthquake – at least I think it was. I can’t even tell anymore. Sometimes they are so small. I’m sitting on the club chair in the living room watching the lights on the tops of the buildings blink on and off signaling to the planes that they are there.
Everyone else is sleeping soundly. The computer is resting on my legs, and it is hot against my skin. Blink…Blink…Blink go the lights. Still, I wait.
It seems Tokyo is churning with me as it is a morning with lots of little tremors – or is that me??
It's A Small, Small, Small, Small World
A woman approached me at a luncheon today (yes, I am now a “lady who lunches”) and said “I saw your phone number on one of the sign up sheets and we have almost the exact same number”. We compared and sure enough, other than the last digit (mine is 0, hers is 2)it was the same.
“Where do you live?” she asked. I told her and she said “So do I. Where exactly do you live?” I mentioned the street and she shook her head. I then mentioned the building and her eyes lit up. Sure enough, she lives two floors below me.
Now, the building we live in is exactly nine floors, with one apartment on each. I mentioned to Husband-san I thought it strange that other than one family, I had not seen anyone else who lives here. Apparently our schedules are completely different – well, not that I have one. I did see one couple the day before we moved in, but only for a second as they were leaving and we were entering the building.
My point is, had this woman not seen my phone number, not had the thought to approach me, we would have gone on as we had been, not knowing each other. Now, we do and hopefully a chance meeting will turn into a lasting friendship.
“Where do you live?” she asked. I told her and she said “So do I. Where exactly do you live?” I mentioned the street and she shook her head. I then mentioned the building and her eyes lit up. Sure enough, she lives two floors below me.
Now, the building we live in is exactly nine floors, with one apartment on each. I mentioned to Husband-san I thought it strange that other than one family, I had not seen anyone else who lives here. Apparently our schedules are completely different – well, not that I have one. I did see one couple the day before we moved in, but only for a second as they were leaving and we were entering the building.
My point is, had this woman not seen my phone number, not had the thought to approach me, we would have gone on as we had been, not knowing each other. Now, we do and hopefully a chance meeting will turn into a lasting friendship.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
"The Name"
In trying to make plane reservations for the holidays, one thing becomes evident - you cannot book a seat without a name. A last name is not good enough, there must be a first as well. And it must match exactly the name on the passport. Here is the dilemma - we don't have a name yet, because we don't have a baby yet. We don't have a passport for said nameless baby for the same reason. Now while we don't actually need the passport yet, we do need the name.
Months ago, before we had even sent off the paperwork, we discussed names. We came up with a few we liked and one we really liked and thought, ok, if when we see the picture, if "the name" fits, "the name" shall be hers. Fine. Ok. On to the next thought. Fast forward months and months and months. And months.
And months.
I frantically email husband-san informing him of this latest obstacle and asks if he still likes "the name". "Yes", he said. Ok then. And then, the spelling of "the name"? There are several variations. Which one to choose? More emails fly by and we choose the one not like the famous person of the same name (probably not who you are thinking of). But. What if she doesn't look like a "the name"? "What if by some slight chance she turns out to be a "he" - rare, but it has happened. Booking these flights means it will be permanent - she will be permanent - she will be real. And if she turns out to be "he", "he" will be in big trouble. Booking these flights means "the name" will be printed on a couple of e-tickets floating around in cyberspace. A name that is not yet attached to a face, but certainly attached to the family. Am I ready for this? It's too soon..........................................................
............................right????
Months ago, before we had even sent off the paperwork, we discussed names. We came up with a few we liked and one we really liked and thought, ok, if when we see the picture, if "the name" fits, "the name" shall be hers. Fine. Ok. On to the next thought. Fast forward months and months and months. And months.
And months.
I frantically email husband-san informing him of this latest obstacle and asks if he still likes "the name". "Yes", he said. Ok then. And then, the spelling of "the name"? There are several variations. Which one to choose? More emails fly by and we choose the one not like the famous person of the same name (probably not who you are thinking of). But. What if she doesn't look like a "the name"? "What if by some slight chance she turns out to be a "he" - rare, but it has happened. Booking these flights means it will be permanent - she will be permanent - she will be real. And if she turns out to be "he", "he" will be in big trouble. Booking these flights means "the name" will be printed on a couple of e-tickets floating around in cyberspace. A name that is not yet attached to a face, but certainly attached to the family. Am I ready for this? It's too soon..........................................................
............................right????
Monday, September 18, 2006
Respect for Elders Day
Yes, an actual holiday in which you are supposed to show respect to your elders. Most honorable and respected husband-san had off today because of this most wonderful holiday. And how did we spend it you ask? After sleeping in, almost causing Jed to miss the bus (his alarm "malfunctioned" and we are his backup), we went out and about in Tokyo.
First we rode in the first car of the subway train, so he got to watch the conductor as he drove the train.
We went sofa shopping and then to Tokyo Hands, my new absolute favorite store ever - even husband-san likes it. They have tools. Lots of them. And he got to play with them for as long as he wanted to.
We ended up at a little cafe for some much needed refreshment and then took a slow stroll home, passing many dogs out for a stroll, several wedding receptions (perhaps getting married on this day is good luck) and a neighborhood ceremony of some kind. It looked festive and they were beating a drum. They do that here. Alot.
First we rode in the first car of the subway train, so he got to watch the conductor as he drove the train.
We went sofa shopping and then to Tokyo Hands, my new absolute favorite store ever - even husband-san likes it. They have tools. Lots of them. And he got to play with them for as long as he wanted to.
We ended up at a little cafe for some much needed refreshment and then took a slow stroll home, passing many dogs out for a stroll, several wedding receptions (perhaps getting married on this day is good luck) and a neighborhood ceremony of some kind. It looked festive and they were beating a drum. They do that here. Alot.
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