16 months today our dossier got logged in to the China Center for Adoption Affairs, we will have our daughter. 16 months of job changes, moves across, birthdays, vacations, arguments and make up sessions.

In 2 1/2 hours I meet my daughter. As I sit here in the hotel early in the morning, I don't think how long the wait was, I just think that in two and a half hours, I will see the little face that I have been staring at since September. I will touch that little face that is filled with both fear and determination. I will hold my baby in my arms.

As I was making my coffee and waiting for the water to boil, I filled her little snack cup.
Her.
Little.
Snack. Cup.

Before I leave, I will pack her diaper bag with a few toys and diapers.
Her.
Diaper.
Bag.

These things are no longer items I bought for “the baby" they are hers now. They belong to someone now. They are Ariana's.

I do hope she likes them.

13 hours and Counting..

We arrived in Nanchang, unpacked, had dinner where we met the other families and shared our excitement and anxiety........and now we wait...........13 hours and counting................

Yes, It is Great

The Wall that is. After a quick stop at the Temple of Heaven, where I had my first meltdown as we saw a family with their Chinese daughter and I realized in 48 hours, that will be us, we made our way out to Mutianyu portion of the Great Wall. Today was the first snow in Beijing, and because that kept a lot of tourists away, we had the wall practically to ourselves.

these are some of the steps we had to climb. Yes, so in 48 hours, actually less than that as I just found out we will see our daughter for the first time at 11am on Monday, I will be a mom.

Since I have been here, I have been looking at women of all ages thinking "that could be Ariana". In a way, she is all of these women as this is her culture, her heritage, her beginnings. Brent explained today that the Chinese people's ways are influenced by both Buddhism and the teaching of Confucius - a combination of kindness and harmony. This is something I want to teach her, as her culture is more than pretty silk dresses, Chinese dance classes and Chinese New Year. This will also be the most difficult to teach, as we will be living in a very different environment. But I will try, because it is part of who she is.

Not Feelin The Frog

Me: Does it taste like chicken?
Husband-san: Actually, it takes like frog.

And it did. We went to Family Li’s restaurant tonight (thank you Yvonne). Down a hutong in northwestern Beijing, we were all a little nervous as we made our way down the narrow street. No sign on the door, this little restaurant is actually about six different tiny dining rooms joined by a narrow walkway. With little heat, we sat in a room with four tables, one of them taken by a group from Tokyo. Then the procession began. Over 30 little plates filled with all sorts of things were presented – two different kinds of bean curd, marinated shredded carrots, celery, fried bean curd, fried fish, scallops, abalone, Peking duck, pork, chicken, beef and yes – frog. Not just frog, but snow frog. It came mixed with custard and we stared at it for awhile. Husband-san was the first to be brave, and Jed and I soon followed.

It was a great dinner, despite the fact that Jed was "not feelin the frog"

Note to Self.....

1) check to see that the @!!! camera battery is fully charged and the @!#$%##@@back up battery still in the package works before setting out on the days very important tourist attractions.!!!!!!!!!

2) Young students who smile and start talking to you as you are walking down the street may be the young artists they claim to be and may in fact be exhibiting their artwork at a space right down the street, or, maybe not...

3) All of the little packs of tissues handed out as part of advertising on the streets of Tokyo come in very handy when you visit one of "those" bathrooms here in Beijing.

Yes, I admit it. I said many bad words (at the encouragement of Jed) as right at the beginning of our walk through the forbidden city the battery as my camera died and the backup battery was dead as well. I bought a disposable camera to fill in, so the picture of us having coffee at the Starbuck's in the Forbidden City will not be posted here. I did manage to take these though:

Forbidden City - the most incredible sight - I could have spent a whole day just wondering around the stone streets and beautiful buildings

Lots of construction in preparation for the 2008 Olympics.

Then after dropping the boys off at the hotel and recharging the batteries, I made my way to the Lama Temple:

There are different halls, all housing different Buddhas. The Yongyoudain hall held the most meaning for me as it holds three different Buddhas - the Buddha of past, present and future. I stood there a long time reflecting on how my life has changed in such a short time and how it is about to again even more so. The tile work is so beautiful...a very peaceful place in a very hectic city.

On my ride back, I got a glimpse of Beijing traffic as it was rush hour. It is a total free-for-all between the cars, buses, bicycles and pedestrians. There are traffic lights, but they seem more a suggestion than a rule.

stay tuned......

So Much for the Thanksgiving Peking Duck

Instead, we dined on the mystery meat on the ANA flight to Beijing and had burgers, cheese sticks and chicken wings (the last two were Jed's) at the hotel when we finally got checked in.

We were met at the airport by Grant, our guide, who drove us to the hotel and gave us a brief history of China, explaining a little of the city, mostly involving the millions of trees that are being planted to counteract all of the pollution. Even at night you could smell it - at first I thought there was something burning, but then realized this was just the air here in Beijing. Jed thought it smelled like snowboarding - something like the smell his snowboard gear took on after a day on the slopes...oooookkkkkaaayyyyy

stay tuned.....

Note to all the adoptive parents out there - the red bag in the picture is the diaper bag (thanks Chris and Declan) currently being used to carry all of the paperwork. Husband-san was carrying it and commented how heavy it was!!

In Six and a half hours..

we will be on a plane to Beijing. I have been on the verge of tears this morning, trying to concentrate on last minute packing and not to think too much about the way my life will change. How can one person be so excited and so scared at the same time?

A little person is sitting in an orphanage in China, having spent almost her whole life there, with her friends and caregivers, with the sounds and tastes and smells so familiar. Does she know that in a few days, she will be leaving all of that behind for a world filled with everything new?

Here I sit in my apartment in Tokyo, having spent my whole life only having to take care of myself, doing what I want when I want. In a few days, I will be responsible for this little person who needs so much...so much confort and love and patience and guidance.

I am ready................

I think??

One More Day....

I am now officially freaking out.

As I stare at the packets of documents, the very ones I have checked numerous times already, I try to divine something that I've missed, even though I know everything is in there.

My suitcase packed, my mind races as I seek the one "very important" thing I have missed, the absence of which will make my daughter miserable.

Alternatively thinking "I can't wait!" and "what am I doing?", the only solace comes from one thing..........


CHOCOLATE!!!!!

Getting Ready and Throwing Away

In the mad dash to get everything ready, we finally did what we had been putting off for months......getting rid of the extra pieces of crib. You see, we only got part of the crib in the move - a very long story involving many emails, phone calls and bad words. We did finally receive a complete crib which we set up, leaving the extra pieces to dispose of. In New York, this would be simple.

1) Put pieces on curb
2) Watch them disappear.

In Tokyo, this requires many phone calls, trips to the 7-11 and also many bad words.

1) Find handout on "disposing of waste".
2) Read the part that deals with "oversize waste".
3) Seeing that it requires going to the 7-11 to get (and pay for) a waste disposal ticket to attach to pieces of crib - think many bad words.
4) Measure the pieces, remembering to write down the centimeter measurement and not the inch.
5) Take handout on disposal of waste, paper with measurements and digital camera that holds a picture of the crib pieces to the 7-11.
6) Apologize (for the mangling of the Japanese language you are about to speak), point to handout on disposing of waste, show them picture of pieces of crib and say "ticket".
7) Watch as the two people behind the counter converse amongst themselves, finally calling over a third person, who joins in the conversation.
8) Stand there sheepishly.
9) Listen as the one person behind the counter who speaks Enlish says "you call number, they tell you price, you buy ticket"
10) Thank all of them profusely thinking "I really need to learn Japanese".
11) Walk home and wait until Monday.
12) Call number.
13) Recite my phone number to person who answers the phone who doesn't speak English, but will have someone call me who does. (numbers don't count as "speaking English").
14) Wait all of two minutes for the phone to ring (in New York, if you ever had to do this, you would be waiting for weeks)
15) Explain what I am throwing out and then listen to the lady on the phone tell you how much it will be (200 yen, about $1.75), where to get the ticket (7-11 I knew this!) and what day they will pick it up (Friday).
16) Thank her profusely and hang up.
17) Walk to 7-11.
18) Buy ticket.
19) Walk home in garbage disposing directional haze.
20) Stick ticket on pieces of crib, after bundling them together as requested by lady on phone.
21) Bring pieces down to basement (actually, tell Jed to bring them down to basement).
22) Relax in "extra pieces of crib" free apartment.

And you were wondering why it took months to get rid of the pieces of crib....

3 More Days!!!!!!

Got the plane tickets today (thank you David), got the antibiotics yesterday (thank you Lori and Mark) and have already repacked once as the weather will be cooler than I thought. Of course, neither Arny or Jed have even begun to think about packing, but I think I am thinking enough for them, and pretty much enough for the other seven families traveling with us as well.

I've reviewed the paperwork about twenty times already, had a minor panic attack that the "blue" form was missing, until I was reassured that the "blue" form wasn't actually blue but white and sitting just where it belongs behind the other forms.

Carrie (another soon to be mom) and I have decided that we WILL get the babies on Sunday instead of Monday, if only to avoid a Sunday night anticipatory "meltdown".

Spent about an hour yesterday downloading Chinese songs for children on to my iTunes for Ariana, and then trying to learn the words so I can sing them. On second thought, this is a bad idea as I picture my daughter running with her hands over her ears, screaming as she tries drown out the scary sounds.

Perhaps I'll just stick to speaking.....