TeeBeeDee

That's our daughter's name. Cute, isn't it? I think it means "wait a long time" in Chinese....

Well, not really. But that is the name we put down on the day care application: Name: TBD
Date of Birth: TBD
Place of Birth: China - at least I could answer that one. We are not expecting to know anything about her until at least May and we won't meet her until sometime in July or August, but since this is New York City, we can't wait to apply because there won't be any room - we must apply now for the September 2006 school year. I'm just glad I am starting this whole process early because once she gets into this daycare, she can be there until she starts kindergarten, which happens to be in the public school that is literally in our apartment building.

New York is a very scary place to raise children. Not for the crime, but for the intense competition to get into the "right" nursery school. There are actually "Nursery School Consultants" that will assist you in the search for a place for your child. The most recent ad went like this:

"Thinking about kindergarten admissions testing? Get a leg up by attending the Smart City Kids Admissions Testing for Private and Public Schools workshop that covers:

• Understanding the Kindergarten Admissions Tests (Private, Public Gifted and Talented Schools)
• What to expect during your child's interview
• What IQ tests really measure
• Natural and playful ways to raise a smarter child
• A checklist for touring schools
• How your involvement positively affects IQ test scores and elementary school performance

Includes a free copy of "The Ten Best Ways to Nurture Your Child's Intelligence Before Kindergarten Admissions Testing."

We are not talking about 18 years olds getting ready for college, or even 13 year olds getting ready for high school - we are talking about 2,3 and 4 year olds!!!

Some parents hire people to help fill out the applications and write the essays. Yes, you read correctly. The parents have to write essays about why their 3 year old should be granted access to the hallowed halls of their nursery school and parents are actually paying them. And then there are the interviews for both parents and children. Kelsey just finished applying to colleges and that process wasn't as stressful as this can be, because here you are constantly being told it is so hard and so competitive and if you don't send your children to one of these schools, you will ruin their lives forever.

We wanted to avoid all of that. We picked this daycare because it is a wonderful, warm place and there are no "interviews" or "essays" required. Not like some others that we visited. And we plan on public school too. We happen to live in an area with really great public schools - concerned and active parents, lots of diversity in the classrooms, and enough resources to provide a great education. Plus, knowing Arny and me, she will be joining in on our nightly debates on everything from the current "totalitarian states" to "why John Stewart is brilliant" before we know it, so she will have an early start in thinking for herself.

I just wish all these parents paying $20 -25,000 a year for 4 and 5 year olds would take half that money and put it into the public schools. That way, every child in this city could get a decent education. Instead, a bunch of people with more money than sense feed into this "kid must have private school education" and if you don't feed into it, you really don't care that much about your child.

I care. I care that my child grows up with a wide range of friends from all walks of life - all economic classes - all races - all religions. I care that my child judge people by how compassionate and kind they are, not how much money they have. I care that my child not be so scheduled with activities up the wazoo that she needs her own appointment book.

I care that my child has the luxury of being a child.