Where for art thou Sleep...

Anything close to a schedule is mearly a hopefully wish these days. Here I sit at 3:36 a.m. being woken up by the insistent cry of a certain someone who has had enough of her crib for now, not taking into account the parents who have to wake up to entertain said person. We are taking turns getting up. Last night was Arny's turn. He got to experience major poopy diaper and I must say handled it quite well. I was sort of awake listening and was half expecting him to wake me up, but no - he did it without any help and only minor grumbling. Tonight is my turn. We eat, play, read, change many diapers, play with the cellphone (her playing, me taking it away from her before she calls Uganda) and finally, when she decides that she is ready for sleep again, we fall back into bed.

While not sleeping, she is having much fun getting to know her grandparents , exploring, watching the birds by the lake, trying on clothes - both hers and her fathers and chewing on her toothbrush, which is now one of her favorite toys. We had a lovely visit with Michelle, Evan and Mia - Arny explained to the girls what happens when big companies get corrupt while playing the documentary "Enron - The Smartest Guys in the Room" and the girls explained the fine points of Tellitubbies. Everyone learned a little something.

28 hours in transit

We have arrived in Florida. After 28 hours getting from Tokyo to New York and then New York to Florida, here I sit at 2:30am on Sunday wide awake. Actually I am not wide awake, but some little person is, happily eating cereal and chatting up a storm. Baba-san and I have decided to take turns and I have today. Tomorrow at 2:30am, it will be he who will be listening to the babble of the little miss.

Word of advise when traveling over this or any other holiday season; DON"T DO IT. Stay home. Invite all of your relatives to your house. Pay for them to come if you can. Buy as much food as you need to get through their visit, rent a lot of movies, and DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE!!!!

I say this having experienced a 12 hour flight from Tokyo with a 2 year old. Now, as far as 2 year olds go, she is pretty good. But 12 hours of a 2 year old - any 2 year old, in very cramped quarters is, well, hell. And this was the calm and civilized part of the trip. Japan airports are serene; calm and quiet - everyone going about their travels almost silently. The flights are as well; courteous attendants ready with a toy or a drink to calm a little person who is just a little fussy.

US airports on the other hand are masses of confusion and noise and garbage. Adults, children and pets careening around like mad. Add to that a few delayed flights and you have some pretty testy people. If you have ever experienced the Jet Blue terminal at Kennedy airport during the holiday season, you know what I mean. Unfortunately, we experienced more of it than usual, having a 5 hour layover. By the end of it, I wanted to do what Ariana was doing off and on - screaming out in frustration "GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!! She continued to voice her opinion on the plane, becoming more and more insistent as the flight went on. Actually I don't blame her. She wanted to sleep - we all wanted to sleep. We landed an hour late and then they neglected to tell us half of the luggage from our flight ended up on an earlier one and was sitting at another carousel - fine - add to the torture why don't you!

We did finally made it, set up the Pack n' Play, put her in it and went to bed. Twenty minutes later at the sound of desperate cries, she ended up in bed with us, for a few hours at least. And here she sits. And here I sit. She is very happy. She is very cute. I am very tired. And not at all cute.

Happy Holidays to All.............

14 Diapers Later

It seems we have learned a new thing. She says "pee pee" and that is my signal to change her diaper. Yesterday she said "pee pee" exactly 14 times. And yes, I changed her 14 times. And yes, I do believe there was "something" in there all 14 times, perhaps just a drop, but with these highly absorbent diapers, sometimes it is really hard to tell.

She is running around in her little pull up diapers these days; clothes only being useful for minutes at a time. At one point I wasn't changing said diaper fast enough, having just barely finished washing my hands from the previous "pee pee" call, when she decided to take things into her own hands. Pulling the pull ups down below her knees, she swiftly (or as swiftly as one can with pull ups down around ones ankles) made her way to her room, with me in hot pursuit.

I did take the time to take a picture and would gladly post it for all to see, but she may want to run for office someday, and I would hate to see the headlines...

"Candidate has exhibitionist past".......

Random Thought

In downtown Hiroo, Dwarfs singing Brazilian songs - Christmas songs perhaps; I don't know because I don't speak Portuguese ....................
...........my question is why?

Getting To Know You

We are busy settling in and learning all about each other. We had a lovely visit from Annaliese and her mom, who are expecting to travel to China at the end of January to pick up their newest addition. After a slight hesitation, Ariana was won over and played happily with Annalise, who surprised her with a knapsack and a very cool looking stuffed cat.

Venturing out to the park, Ariana really enjoyed the swing, so much so that when she saw another child plop down on it while she was getting on the rocking horse, she had a fit, as if to yell "get off of my swing - it's mine!!!". Darling, can we say "share"??
Finally, in a bold fashion statement, Ariana makes use of the simple table mat in a exciting look for winter - does double duty as a rain and show shield as well.Sleep remains one of her least favorite things. So much so that here I sit and 1:30am because after exactly 6 hours of sleep, she decided it was enough. Much as I tried, she was having none of that "going back to sleep" stuff and is now happily eating Japan's version of corn flakes. We ran out of Cheerios yesterday, so she is now eating whole wheat flakes. She eats - I'm happy. About the eating at least, not about the sleep. Because, not only am quite fond of sleep myself, I am not at all happy having it interrupted, even if it is by the cutest thing on the face of the earth.

Baths are also not one of her favorite things although Sunday's made us realize that she may tolerate showers better. Late in the afternoon, we decided she was due for a head to toe cleaning and after drawing the bath, we all went into the bathroom and proceeded to undress her. She was fine until her feet touched the water and that's when the fun (and screams) began. Since I took the last bath with her and the screaming was minimal, I quickly got undressed and jumped in the tub, sitting her down on my lap. That shocked her so much that she stopped crying for just a minute until she realized she was still in fact in the tub. It also shocked Baba-san in that amusing "wow, I've never been able to get her to take off her clothes that fast" look. I asked baba-san to grab the cup that was by the sink and used that to pour the water over her. She almost kind of liked that, so we finished the bath rubbing and pouring water on her. Next time, I think I'll just go with the shower and see what happens.

Home Sweet Home

The littlest pair of shoes joins the rest in the front hallway - we are home!! Finally!!! After a nine hour flight (don't ask) and a long ride from the airport we made it.

Our last night in Hawaii was filled with fun. We picked up Ariana's passport, did some last minute shopping and then had a fancy dinner to celebrate mama-san's birthday. Ariana had her first Shirley Temple, which she felt the need to drink with her sunglasses on, followed by mussels, veal and sorbet...quite the gourmet my little one.

We said goodbye to Auntie Marilyn, who Ariana loved and learned many things from. Like how to simultaneously read a magazine and talk on her cell phone (which she now has so she will leave ours alone - it makes noise, which makes her very happy) .

We made it to the airport and on to the plane where Ariana fell asleep for a little while and then played with all of her toys, walked up and down the aisles and screamed. Frankly, after nine hours on the plane, I was ready to scream too.

Baba-san was there to meet us at the airport and we made it home, where the little was was very excited to see all of her toys in her room, wanting to play with each and every one. She was particularly fond of the ball...
and the potty chair, which has a little steering wheel with a horn...
Getting her to sleep was an entirely different matter. It was not going to happen in her crib. No. Absolutely Not. No Way.

We were both so tired we put her in bed with us where she slept until about 5am and then was raring to go and let us know that until I finally got up.

It is 9am and I am ready for a nap.

More From Hawaii

While most people go to the beach, take hikes in the mountains, go hang gliding and snorkeling when they go to Hawaii, Auntie M, Ariana and I have taken tours of the immigration office (2 times), the passport office (2 times so far, 1 more to go tomorrow) and the social security office (1 time) - a very exciting time here in Honolulu. I must say though, everyone in every office was very nice and accommodating, even when silly mommy-san forgot the confirmation number at the passport office because she has completely and totally overdosed on paperwork and can't seem to keep anything straight anymore after sixteen months of it.


We did go to a luau last night, where we ate:

Drank:
and saw a show:

We got to hang out by the pool:

saw some real live pink Flamingos:

and at one point in the day, was not happy:

tough life for a two year old.....

Aloha from Hawaii

Say hello to the United States' newest and cutest little citizen - we made it to the immigration office, filled out more paperwork and came away with her certificate of citizenship.

We celebrated with breakfast outside with lots of giggles...
and then went to the social security office and filed for her social security number. A very nice lady helped us, but I couldn't help but thinking that she wasn't quite all there when she asked "now, you are sure she has never had a social security number before?".

Later we celebrated more with lais (insert your own joke here), provided by Auntie Marilyn and dinner by the ocean where we watched a most disturbing hula show - it was the Christmas version with the dancers dancing to "Jingle Bells" , "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and "Rockin around the Christmas Tree" - it just wasn't right.
The evening ended with a fireworks display and then back to the room for more general play. Our timing is way off - I really don't even know what day or time it is at this point, so we sleep when we sleep and play when we play....all is good.....

Goodbye to China

We are off today for the final leg of the trip; two flights to Honolulu, a few appointments with U.S. government officials, some good fun with Auntie Marilyn and then home.

I would love to be articulate enough to adequately describe this experience, but no words can possible convey the sensation of this child being put in my arms and what has come since.

Yesterday was the swearing in ceremony at the U.S. Consulate. Forty seven families gathered to finish the process before heading home. To see these forty seven children, who two weeks ago were terrified beyond words, now laughing, running and crying, not with fear, but knowing there will always be someone to answer, was just awesome.

to be continued......

Buddhist Blessing

No matter what your faith, to be blessed by a Buddhist monk is an experience not to be missed if you ever get the chance. For me, it was extra special as this is the predominant religion in China and part of my child's heritage.

We arrived at the incense filled temple, filed in and took our shoes off before entering the alter area. We all nealt and closed our eyes and the monk started to chant. We all wished for our daughters and I was transported to a place of such warmth and safety I cannot adequetly describe it here. Needless to say when it was over, my glasses were wet from the tears that fell.

Note To Self

1) While absolutely gorgeous, my daughter has some issues with personal hygiene - does not like baths. No, why be coy about it - she despises baths - starts shrieking at the sight of the water and will not stop until she is safely in the towel and out of the bathroom. Same for teeth brushing, without the screams. Just shuts her cute little mouth shut with all the strength she has.

2) Doctor visits will be an issue. While at the exam needed for the consulate, she howled, threw herself around and basically made every other parent waiting grateful she wasn't theirs. She even made me cry.

3) Never, ever, ever wake my daughter from a nap. She does not like it and will make that fact known to everyone on the very small bus we took to the Buddhist Temple.

But other that that, she is a total and complete joy.

Daddy's Little Girl

Just because baba-san isn't here doesn't mean his presence is forgotten. Ariana displayed a very intense interest in the calculator at the pearl store earlier today, practically grabbing it out of the saleswoman's grasp and it took awhile before she relinquished it:

After a sumptuous buffet breakfast on the 2nd floor of the hotel:


we all met to do the paperwork that makes up the American portion of the adoption - basically to get her into the U.S. Ariana amused herself with raisins, which she either 1) ate whole 2) took little bites of, or 3) threw down as not worthy.

We also took a walk down the streets around the White Swan, a quaint and quiet area compared to the center of town. We bought the first of many pairs of shoes - for Ariana - they are about $3-4 a pair, so there is absolutely no guilt involved.

Dinner tonight was with some of the group at a Thai restaurant where Ariana dined with her own little fork on a mango milkshake, pumpkin sticks, chicken,noodles, lamb and chocolate ice cream. Now, a good portion of all of the above ended up in places other than her mouth (her lap, the chair, the floor) but enough got into her mouth that I am sure she is not starving.

and finally, the smile.....

which came from tickling her tummy and almost made me cry...OK, so it did make me cry, I admit it...

Proud Mama

Can I just say what a smart, sweet, lovely, brilliant, adorable, well mannered and beautiful child I have? She is......now you may ask what sparked this outpouring of compliments. Well, today was our first plane ride and her first day without baba-san and big brother. We all got up very early and the guys left around 7am. I was really panicked that things would go swiftly downhill. But no. Not just no, but a resounding NO!!! She was brilliant. She ate, she let me change her diaper with not a peep and was calm, cool and collected on the plane; eating, drinking and playing with her book. She even got up to stretch her legs and played with "uncle" Jan for awhile.



She came right back to me though for the touchdown and was only slightly grouchy waiting to check in. Finally in our room, she has been sitting on the bed amusing herself for a couple of hours now and I have spent a couple of hours just staring at my beautiful, smart, cute, adorable child.



Oh and she smiled a big smile when she saw herself in the mirror in her little book and she has been babbling and saying definite words!!!

some two fisted eating action last night at dinner...notice the utencils in her cute little hands....
Today she dined on hamburger and little crackers in bed.....
This is the view from our hotel room...

to be continued....

Just a Quick Note

Tonight is our final night in Nanchang and my final night with the boys. Arny and Jed leave tomorrow for Tokyo as Jed has school and preparation for finals.

We had a group dinner at the wonderful restaurant around the corner and celebrated all of our accomplishments and joy. We leave early tomorrow for Guangzhou and the U.S. portion of the adoption. Basically, just more paperwork. Ariana has her Chinese passport and will be ready to go once she gets the visa at the U.S. consulate. I am looking forward to leaving Nanchang and getting on with the process.

But, I am terrified at the prospect of having all of the responsibility in Guangzhou. Husband-san makes a wonderful teammate in this parenting game and his presence will be sorely missed. And Jed in turning into a terrific big brother.

Our little girl is showing herself alittle each day and it is so exciting to see. She actually let us put her down in her crib tonight, on the third try. Perhaps she is feeling more secure.

Some memories of Nanchang: the rooster alarm clock, the dog meat on the menu in the hotel dining room, the women on the street who chastise us for not covering up our babies enough; people cooking their lunch in front of their stores; the people who look at us with such intense interest. Most of all, it is the place where we were united with the most amazing child, one I hope you will all meet very soon.

I will try my best to write in Nanchang, however with a two year old alone, I'm not sure just how much I'll get done..

the adventure continues.................

More Pictures...

More Pictures

She Likes Me, She Really Likes Me!!!!

She finally figured out I wasn't so bad and we are now pals; at least most of the time. Boy, does this feel good!! It's amazing how I start to go through withdrawal if I haven't held her for awhile. Well, yesterday I held her for most of the day - she cried every time I tried to put her down.

We went sightseeing and had lunch in the hotel - her first taste of pizza and she liked it!

Towards the end of the day, she wanted her daddy, so he got the feeding chores, this time some shrimp.












Between the need to be held all the time, we are starting to get a little glimpse of her personality - she is coming out of her shell and starting to investigate her toys. It is slow going, but she has been through a tremendous change and is actually doing quite well. She has a little cold, which is causing a lot of sniffles and a bloody nose because of all of the congestion and rubbing...more sucking action (causing more screaming) is in order...yuck!!

Update Part 2

Well, after an early morning bonding session (from about 6 - 9am) where she would not let go of me or let me put her down for part of the time and basically was pretty pleased with me, she has returned to her "get away from me you scary person" mood.

She woke up early and I picked her up from her crib - she was fine and I just held her for a long time. We laid down on the bed together - her lying on top of me. She said "mam" in this little soft voice. She slept for a little while. She started to get restless again so we got up and walked, and sat, and walked some more. We went into the kitchen where she found the little packets of butter in the fridge and drank two bottles of milk (yes!!!). We went and sat in the bathroom, where we played with stuff and I used the little aspirator on her nose to suction out some of the gunk (ok, that is just gross!!) As a side note: yesterday when she was standing next to Baba san's side of the bed, she was picking her nose and then wiping it on the sheet - I thought this was hysterical; he was not happy.

Then we went and sat on the chair and almost fell asleep. When I tried to put her down, she suddenly woke up and kind of snapped, realizing it was me. Fun time over. She started screaming "mama", "mama" as if she was looking for someone and that's when it dawned on me.

After seeing her former caregivers yesterday, one of whom she likely thought of as her mama, she is just not ready to accept me as that yet. So, for now, Baba san and Jed are taking over:


Jed got right down to important business by letting her watch a James Bond movie followed by "Aquateen Hunger Force" with him while Arny takes a shower. From the look of it, she is quite enthralled - I will continue to provide her food and they will refer to me as "mama".

Thank you all for your kind words and support, both here and via email. I appreciate you all taking the time to share your experience and it does help tremendously. Feel free to continue to do so either here or by email - I am reading them all.

stay tuned.......................

Ok, Michelle - here is your update

The day started out well....we were friends......we got dressed, we ate breakfast and made out way downstairs and outside for the trip to the Civil Affairs office to complete the adoption.

The nannies from the orphanage were there and all gathered around Ariana to say hello. They kept pointing to me saying "Mama, Mama". That's when the trouble started....I went to pick her up and she started crying..Arny took her from me and from then on, I can't get near her. I tried holding her for awhile and she just cried. I thought perhaps she was just grieving, but she stopped as soon as Arny took her from me. I went out to the store and when I came back she was sleeping. When she woke up she saw me and started howling (welcome to motherhood!!) Arny took her and she stopped. Then, as you can see, they fell asleep peacefully. Everyone woke up to get ready to go out, but as I was trying to dress her she was crying so hysterically, I left without husband san or Ariana. I did what every self respecting mother does when shunned by their children...I went shopping!! To Walmart of all places to buy some more diapers and other assorted things. I'm back now and she is staring at me as she walks by really fast. At least she is not braking out in hysterics anymore.

This is actually a very normal reaction in adoption. The children will attach to one parent or the other. I know this in my head and I know it won't last.

But it's my heart that is hurting right now.

Crib Is Occupied

While most kids take about 17 years to hate their mothers, I achieved that feat in all of 3 minutes!! For awhile anyway. Once she realized she was being held by someone other than her nanny, she displayed the full range of a most heathy set of lungs that only stopped when Daddy san stepped in

See how calm and quiet she looks holding her little stuffed animal....




After an absolutely disasterous picture session, we made it back to the hotel where Jed and Daddy san undressed her. She was reluctant to let go of the shoes however (just like her mamma) so they left them on for awhile.
She spent about thirty minutes walking back and forth from the bathroom to the kitchen, exploring everything.

Finally it was time for a diaper change, which I am proud to say I did beautifully.


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