A Little Bit Bad

The other day, in an act I like to think of as a celebration of life, I bought Ariana a bag of Cheetos.

Earlier in the day, I had been discussing the very large topic of being a mother with a friend of mine, someone I consider an excellent mother who is currently plagued by the self-doubt that we all experience from time to time.  Many times this self-doubt involves food choices. Not satisfied with the common sense “healthy food in - junk food out “ mantra, we now torture ourselves with just how healthy our healthy food is. Whole wheat used to be good enough. Now, it must be whole grain, preferably organically grown whole grain. Low fat used to be good enough – now, only hormone, antibiotic free roaming cows milk will do. Or better yet, soymilk.  And God forbid you give your child something unhealthy, you risk the evil stares from parents whose mission in life is to educate you about what poisons you are feeding them or worse, you risk being told, “you know you are killing your child with that” (this was actually said to a friend of mine, I am not making this up).

Going to the store these days requires a lot of patience and a good pair of reading glasses to see the sometimes miniscule print in which the ingredients are listed.

As an experiment, I spent ten minutes comparing the leading organic Mac and cheese to good old Kraft – just to see the difference.  Between the chart and the really small print below the chart, which required me to hold the box at arm’s length under a strong light just to read, I was more than just slightly confused. The chart lists the stats for one cup “as prepared” and then a tiny little asterisk states “amount in mix when prepared”, with slightly different ones. What is the difference? No wonder parents are confused these days. The organic brand with all of its organic ingredients had less Calcium and Iron than the Kraft. It did have more protein, but also more fat if you add the butter, which is listed as a suggestion for “richer flavor”. It would also have more calories.  They were about equal on salt and carbohydrates. So, do you go for more vitamins or go the organic route? Therein lies the dilemma.

Recent events bring it all home for me. We have choices that are almost mind-boggling. Let’s look at milk. Generally thought of as a healthy food. Full of calcium and vitamin D – great for growing bones. Now comes the hard part. Full fat or low fat? If you are going low fat, do you buy 1 or 2%? Perhaps go for fat free? What about vitamin enriched? Organic or just hormone free? Regular old milk flavored or vanilla or chocolate or strawberry?

People in Haiti would settle for any milk at all. And so would most of the people in the world.

So why? Why do we torture ourselves? The quest to be perfect and worse put that expectation on our children is pointless, as life just doesn’t work that way. If you eat in a restaurant, go to dinner at a friend’s house or have your child play at another’s house, you have little control over the quality of what is served.  Sure, you can bring your own food, but do that and then take a look at your child’s face  - I don’t think it is a smiling one. 

So after swimming class, Ariana wanted a snack from the machine, this being a very fun thing for a 5 year old. So, we scanned the selections and while I suggested the popcorn or pretzels, her eyes were fixing on the little orange bag with the tiger on it. I thought of all the unhealthiness in that little bag – the mystery ingredients that contained the artificial colors and flavors I should shun. But, I also thought that standing there, I had the luxury of choice and every once in awhile it’s ok to make the choice to stop thinking and just listen to my child. So, as Ariana slipped the quarters one by one into the slot, I got ready to lift her up so she could push the magic numbers, and then we both watched as the little bag of delicious poison dropped into the slot.

She rode home in her booster seat, crunching away and when we got home, she proudly showed me her little orange fingers. With a big smile on her face. I have to tell you, that smile was worth a little badness.