Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Halloween: A Conspiracy

It is. I truly believe this. A consortium of diet industry executives got together and figured the whole thing out. I imagine, it went something like this....

Bob: You know, we have done a pretty good job of brainwashing the entire world on their need to diet in order to a) be happy, b) be successful, c) get the man/woman of our dreams, d) make lots of money, e) fit into the dress you wore at your high school prom 20 years ago. What we really need now is that failsafe way to insure that in the slight chance all of the crap we advertise actually works and people really do loose weight, people will still gain weight and need to diet.

Jim: I know!! - let's invent a holiday where once a year, little kids dress up and go around asking for candy. Adults will have to buy this candy and they will swear not to touch it. But, ha ha ha, they will not be able to resist!!!!!!!!!!

Carole: Yes, but it will have to be a multi-tiered approach. It isn't good enough just to keep it in the home. We have to expand....

Bob: Right you are Carole, let's encourage people to bring the extra candy into the office.

Jim: Excellent idea, Bob. That way, we get all those people without kids who may think they are safe if they keep their door locked and lights off during the night, so they don't have to deal with the whole "candy buy".

Carole: And, with the holiday season fast approaching, those extra pounds will have to come off fast. This will make all of our "superfast" diet programs that much more desirable.

Jim: We're good.

Carole: Yes, we are.

Bob: Let's celebrate. Outback's having their all you can eat buffet..

Carole: I'm there!!!!!!!!!!!!

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