Today I realized for the first time....She is out there waiting for us. Actually, it was my friend Julie, who I have known since I was six and is almost as excited about the adoption as we are who mentioned it. We were on the phone and she said "only a few more months and you'll see her". "Yeah, yeah, yeah", I thought to myself rather nonchalantly. You see, now there is only waiting. No filling out forms, no writing checks, no fingerprint appointments. Just waiting. There is nothing to do so there is nothing to say. People keep asking, "what's happening?". "Nothing". "Any news?". "No". "Any word?". "Nothing". Nothing, nothing, nothing, just waiting........and waiting..........................and waiting.
But then, after we hung up, I started thinking. I started calculating. They refer children no younger than 6 months and we are expecting our referral in March, and well, that's 4 months away.
Oh my God, she's out there!! Waiting. Hopefully snuggling in her crib right now, belly full and warm, dreaming of things that will make her wake with a smile. Does she sense we are waiting to come for her? Does she realize how many people here can't wait to meet her? Does she have a clue how crazy we are and how much fun she will have eating ice cream and pretzels (my favorite) for dinner? As I wonder, there's a tug on my heart........
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