Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Ok, I'm Better Now

Ahhh, the frustration of an international adoption. The "not knowing" is just part of the whole process. In order to stay calm throughout this now ridiculously long journey, I organize and plan. It gives me something to do besides freak out. When those plans get changed, it breaks the whole facade of me having control over any aspect of this process and frankly, I don't like that facade broken. Intellectually, I know ever since I handed in my dossier with all of the documents required, I have no control over this process. But, it helps to delude myself into thinking I do.

But I don't. No one knows how many families will be matched each month. So each month, I troll the adoption boards to find any stitch of information that may comfort me. The rumors abound - from Australia to Spain - "they are matching only 4 days", "they are trying to match a whole month", "the CCAA is moving", "the CCAA is not moving", "the wait is going up to 14 months", "the wait is going down" etc., etc., etc. One waiting mom established an entire blog to compile all of the rumors and polls into one. So, instead of having to search the many different adoption boards, you only have to go to one - sort of like one stop obsessing.

But, it all means nothing until the actual referrals come out and the CCAA! posts the latest news on their website. Everyday I check to see if our date is on the lower right hand side completing the sentence "The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before....."

and each month I wait.........for my world to change in the most wonderful way....

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