The First Time

One always remembers. The nervousness, the anxiety. Will it be ok? Will she like it? Will I like it? Today was the first time..............................................
I left her.

I would like to say it was for something important like a meeting or a doctor's appointment. But no, I left her to shop. For furniture. You see, there was a big furniture sale at the Tokyo American Club. A bunch of vendors were gathered and we needed something to put the television on.
And no children were allowed. Hence the need to leave her. Baba-san offered to watch her in his office, but then my friend Clare offered to watch her as she was volunteering at the sale and wasn't needed until noon. So, I met Clare in the cafe, watched as Ariana went into the little play area they have there, and rushed off, cell phone in hand in case I was needed.

I wasn't.

I rushed around the sale searching for the appropriate piece, all the while sneaking glances at the phone just in case it rang.

It didn't.

Finding a piece I liked, I measured, opened doors, imagined it in the apartment, tried to call baba-san to discuss, all the while waiting for the call to say I was needed.

I wasn't.

Purchase finally made, I rushed back downstairs to find Ariana sitting in the highchair reading her book with Clare. She looked up at me with an expression that said "chill mother, I survived".

She was fine.

Apparently she looked around for me a couple of times, but was mostly very quiet and serious but happy playing, reading and drinking the fruit shake in front of her.

This is good.