Ariana used to be a pleasant dinner companion.
She would sit.
She would eat.
She would look cute - quietly.
Not anymore.
She squirms.
She fusses.
She messes.
She wants to get down off her chair, run around, sit on the floor, lie on the floor, eat off the floor and otherwise make mealtime extremely chaotic. Eating with her is no longer a relaxing experience at all. Especially when she is doing all of this in a restaurant.
Last night we decided to put an end (or try to) to the bad dinner table behavior. After about two minutes in the booster seat, she held out her arms to me so that I would pick her out of her chair and hold her on my lap.
I said no.
She said "Down".
I said no.
She cried. We looked at her and continued our conversation.
She cried more. We looked at her more and kept talking.
She screamed. We kept talking - louder.
She starting kicking the table.
We laughed.
She threw her plate on the floor, still filled with the night's dinner. We told the dog to go eat it.
She wailed, looking at each of us for salvation.
We ignored her.
She starting pleading using every word she knew hoping one of them would work and we would respond.
We didn't.
She continued all of the above.
I put my foot on the bottom of the chair so she wouldn't tip over and she continued to wail and thrash about, as I was silently calculating the money I will have to put aside for therapy later on.
We finished our dinner.
She stopped briefly and I asked her if she wanted to get down.
She said "down" in an exhausted little voice.
I got her down.
She smiled.
Fast forward to today at lunch in a restaurant.
She sat.
She ate.
She looked cute.
Quietly.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Hi:
I chuckled at this entry.
As a teacher, I've met my fair share of permissive parents who have felt that somehow children intuit what is proper behavior. I even had a parent once say, "We don't say 'No!' to her because we don't want to expose her to negativity." That explained a lot about the anti-social cluelessness which her daughter exhibited. I think that one of a parent's primary roles is helping a child understand what is right and what is proper - despite these being quite arguably subjective judgements. I don't believe that many people end up in therapy because their parents insisted on correct behavior. A two-year-old should not be in charge.
Good luck.
Larry
When I was in the states a bunch of my relatives were visiting from England (all grandparents) and I was moaning about my friend's obnoxious kid and his terrible behavior.
One of my uncles sympathized, telling me, "Yes, it is awful when you can't say anything. When two of our grandsons come over they ask to be excused from the table before everyone is finished. What terrible manners."
I almost started laughing but I realized he was dead serious. My friend's son doesn't even sit down to eat. He's running around the house making pit stops at the table.
But my uncle's comment made me realize that I was raised with good manners and I wasn't tramatized or anything. I can't figure out what most people think they are doing by not teaching their children to behave well. It can be really tough with a two-year old but in the long run it will be worth it.
We recently started a policy of Maya having to ask to get down from the table and also waiting a little while after she has finished to get down. I don't want my mom whispering about Maya's crappy manners to anyone!
Post a Comment