"I Know Where They Come From"

The other night we had dinner with a very smart and adorable five year old. After successfully charming the waiter into fetching her various things from the kitchen, she set her sights on me. Her mother had just explained that we were adopting a baby from China.

Her: Why don't you make a baby?

Me: Well, some people make babies and some people adopt babies.

Her: I know where babies come from.....you know, down there.

She then stands up in the booth and proceeds to do a little bump and grind to make her point. She sat down.

Her: Where are her parents and why don't they want her?

Me: Well, I don't know where her parents are. I do know her parents can't take care of her.

Her: What if when you get there they want her back?

Me: We would never take her away from her parents if they wanted her.

Her: But then you wouldn't have a baby.

Well, not really. If that were to happen we would be given another child, one of the thousands abandoned each year. But I couldn't tell that to a five year old.

I couldn't tell a five year old that it was this child's parents who left her in front of the orphanage, or in a market, or in park, or just left of the side of the road. Because they wanted a boy.

I couldn't tell her that in China, couples can only have one child. Actually, if their first child is a girl, they can try for a boy. But if that child turns out to be a girl, they must give her up or face severe fines, fines too great for most of the rural families who are in this situation.

I couldn't tell a five year old that had she been born in China, she may have been one of these girls.