Adventures in Potty Training

Ariana: poopy........potty.......

Mama getting very excited thinking she may actually be ready to do put the two together and actually poo in the potty.

Mama: let's go!!!!....

Ariana and Mama run to the bathroom, laughing. Mama gets the child seat positioned on the big toilet:

Mama: do you want to sit on the potty?

Ariana: NO!!!!

Mama pulls out the child potty:

Mama: do you want to sit on your potty?

Ariana sits, pushing the horn on the front on it and laughing. After less than a minute, she announces:

Ariana: Finished!!!.........................................Diaper!

There is absolutely nothing in the potty. Mama decides on the next course of action.

Mama: Do you want diaper or potty?

Ariana: potty

Mama: ok, sit down.

Ariana: NO!!!!!

Mama: ok then, diaper?

Ariana: no, potty.

Mama: ok, sit down.

Ariana: NO!!!!

Mama: ok then, diaper?

Ariana: no, potty.

Mama: ok, sit down.

Ariana: NO!!!

Ariana runs into her room and reaches the closet where a massive supply (thanks to Costco) of Diapers are held. Mama pulls one out -a green one with stripes (yes, the Pampers people are getting very sophisticated in their designs).

Mama: this one?

Ariana: NO!!!!

Mama: how about some underpants (a long shot, but what the hell)?

Ariana: NOOOOOO!!!!

Ariana then goes into the closet and pulls out the blue ones. They are put on. She runs away and ten minutes later.....no, not even, more like five minutes....after a certain scent is quite obvious..

Mama: do you have poopy in your pants?

Ariana: Go away mama, go away!!!!

She runs away and around. At this point, Mama is reduced to sitting on the floor, silently apologizing to her own mother for every bad thing she ever did when she was a child, because she knows it is "Mother Karma" - whatever bad thing you did to your mother comes back doubled - that is responsible for her child's behavior.

Mama: Can we change poopy pants now?

Ariana: NO!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

as the child along with her smelly bottom disappear from the room as she races into another part of the apartment. Mama clearly hears the sounds of laughter as she holds her head in her hands wondering if a child can get into college while still wearing diapers........

..........the saga continues...................

Happy Christmas........

..... the sign read as I made my way into Tokyo Hands, an amazing store here in Tokyo that has everything from stationary to camping supplies on 8 fully stocked and always crowded floors. Christmas in Japan - shopping, shopping and more shopping. Apparently, it is a big date night here, while New Year's Eve is meant for family gatherings. We will be spending the early part of the day celebrating the old fashion Jewish way, with Chinese food and a movie. I found an American animated movie showing (in English) and a Chinese restaurant that serves lunch, so we will be venturing into Ginza. After that, we will be heading to our friends house for the Catholic (or in their case, British Protestant) celebration. Yesterday, we stopped by our French friend's house for some champagne and pate - it is fun experiencing all types of celebrations. Last week, Ariana and I made our way to the local children's hall for their Christmas celebration - filled with lots of people dressed in costume and singing songs.

For your viewing enjoyment, here is Ariana at her school Christmas celebration...

Merry Christmas to all!!!!!!!!

One of the Moms

Yesterday after school, Ariana and I joined several of the other mothers and children for a visit to the local Jido Kaikan (Children's Hall). About nine of us in all, mostly Japanese except for myself, a woman from Hong Kong and one from India, made the short walk from the school to the hall. It seemed to take forever as seven children ranging in age from one to four years old, tripped and fell and ran and jumped and cried their way there, with the parents patiently herding them along.


We stopped at the local grocery store to buy snacks. Having experienced the kindness of Japanese moms, as they always bring enough to share, I ran to the drink isle and bought enough containers of milk for everyone. Little did I know that in this kind of situation, everyone just bought their own. So, I now have many little bottles of milk (it turned out to be soy milk) in my fridge.


The hall has a room specifically for snacks, so we all filed in, taking off our coats and shoes and settling down on the mats to enjoy what we bought. Ariana had about three of the little bottles and ate her cookies, enjoying it all. The kids ate, drank and ran around, the moms talked and I took in the experience of spending time with women I was just beginning to know.


One of the little boys spilt his drink on his pants and his mother took them off to try to clean them off. While in his underwear, he started prancing around, grabbing various parts that really shouldn't be grabbed in public. We all laughed, his mother blushed, and I said "In the United States, there are women that pay good money for that". No one laughed. They looked at me as if they were trying to understand what I was saying - confused that their knowledge of the English language was failing them.

It dawned on me that here in Japan, male strippers did not exist. Just how I was going to try to explain without offending someone I didn't know, but I bravely made my bravest attempt. When I mentioned that there are places in the United States where men dance for women, one of the Japanese women I was with, looking started, said "you mean men with big chests with muscles?" I said "yes", thinking this particular woman, as demure as she seemed to be, had a wild side that was just waiting to come out - perhaps in the United States.....at a place called "Chippendales".............
.....preferably after a couple of ladylike cocktails.

Hanukkah

Tonight, we lit the Hanukkah candles and Arny, getting nervous about having lit candles on the dining room table in the vicinity of our three year old very curious daughter, asked if he should blow them out. I replied "no" as this a major no-no in Hanukkah rules of behavior - they must go out on their own. The following exchange occurred:

mama san: I just realized that every year at this time you read about fires caused by Christmas tree lights, but you never read about fires causes by lit Hanukkah candles.

baba san: Perhaps you are indeed God's chosen people.

Jetlag Hell

I have been up since 1am. Ariana cried out and I went in to comfort her. She went back to sleep quickly (until 3 that is) but I was wide awake. Every night since we have been back has been similar and every day I swear I will never leave this time zone again.

We arrived on Thursday and actually had the only decent night sleep - I think we woke up around 3am. Ariana had a half day of school on Friday because of parent-teacher conferences, so I kept myself busy until it was time to pick her up and have ours. The teachers love her and while she needs to continue to work on her speech (and her circles, as her drawing seems to be limited to many lines across the page) she is doing very well. Apparently, she follows directions well, so well in fact that she is a role model for the other children. I don't know how beneficial that is at the age of 3, but I am hoping I can use it on her college applications - they like that sort of thing, right?

Ok, so back to my lack of sleep. The weekend passed without me stepping outside, baba san taking up the slack beautifully. I thought by now there would be some semblance of normal sleep pattern, but the only thing that seems normal is that I am learning how to function on 4 hours of sleep a night.

Which leaves me lots of time to complain about the weather. It is cold here. Not so much outside, but in our apartment. While Tokyo apartments are built to withstand fairly large earthquakes, one might actually freeze to death waiting for the "big" one. Single pane windows, no insulation and drafts, drafts, drafts, make for one uncomfortable situation.

While in the bathroom trying to put that foamy tape on the door to block the 5 mile an hour winds that come in through the cracks, I felt a breeze coming from another direction. I opened the cabinets under the sink and there, surrounding the pipe, was a gaping hole - the wind was blowing - in my bathroom!!

No wonder the Japanese invented the heated toilet seat. And may I say it has come in very handy these days.

While there is no brightside in living in a drafty apartment, there is one in getting up so early - watching the sun rise:


and then watch while the fall folliage comes into view right outside our window:

"We Go Grandma's House"

We were able to visit with nana and gramps in Naples for a lovely lunch. Ariana charmed the staff and received candy and two bracelets for her adorableness. Add this to the gifts given by her admirers at my mother's place and she made out quite well. Frankly, I was more than a little uncomfortable with the idea of her getting gifts for just being cute, but it gave the older gift givers so much pleasure to see her face as she took each thing and said "thank you!" ........or at least smiled................ok, so sometimes she would just take the "thing" and run away, leaving me to sheepishly say "thanks".

Ariana really enjoyed grandma this visit - asking where she was was she wasn't with us; looking in on her and quietly announcing "gramma's sleeping"; putting on her nightgown and using her cane to walk around the apartment, then putting the cane back where she found it, which led my mother to announce "she is brilliant!" and greeting her with a big "morning gramma!"

Now that we are back, we will miss grandma, and nana and gramps too. That's the hard part about living here - we are so far away. While we keep in touch by phone and email, I regret that Ariana cannot spend more time with her family as they all enjoy each other so much.

While it seems that Ariana has been with us forever, it was actually one year ago that we were in China meeting this most incredible little girl. Wednesday was, in a way, just like any other day - filled with errands and phone calls, eating (or in Ariana's case, not eating) and other mundane tasks.

I thought about celebrating, but how do you celebrate such a thing? Every morning when I see her little face; every night when she yells "baba!!!" as he walks in the door; or when I pick her up from school and she smiles a big grin and says "mama"; every time she makes me laugh; every time she jumps up and down with excitement; every time she walks in the door and says "hi dog" as Tess runs up to be pet......

every thing.....
every day.......
every word......
we celebrate

Florida

As some of you know, I am in Florida visiting my mother. The trip was kind of sudden, as her health was suspicious, but all is well, so Ariana and I are now being able to enjoy the sunny weather and the ridiculous amount of attention she is getting.

Old people love children and Ariana has been at her adorable, personable best so far and result has been many complements, a quarter, a banana with her name written on it, a flower and a doll which we have not seen yet, but has been promised by one of the women who lives here. We were supposed to get it last night at dinner, but since we are just beginning to get over the jet lag, we were sleeping when my mother went down to the dining room, not waking until after 9pm. So, not only did we miss the doll, but we were up until about 1am, waking at 6 this morning. Ahhh, the joys of jetlag - the irregular sleep, the bad tempers, the headache that will go away around day 6.

Other than that, all is well in the sunny state.......

Nara and Kyoto, part 2

Ariana running among the ruins in Nara...

"mmmmm, tea.................yummmmmmm........
fellow photographers in Nara Park....

Eating with chopsticks VS eating the chopsticks...
Philosopher's Walk in Kyoto.....

The Ryokan

Traditional Japanese Inns - where you are waited on hand and foot by kimono clad women - don slippers as soon as you walk in the door, robes when you arrive in your room (sans slippers that you leave on the wood entry way prior to stepping foot on the tatami mats) , drink tea and are then treated to a sumptuous meal of many little courses and then watch as those kimono clad women expertly unfold and make up the futons you then sleep on.

This is when it turns nasty. Because for the price of a room at your local Four Seasons, you are sleeping on the floor in order to get a taste of traditional Japanese culture. I don't care that the meal was presented by two lovely ladies. I don't care that the room was quite beautiful in it's simplicity (ok, I could have done without the tv in the corner) and I don't care that we had a lovely view of the perfectly manicured Japanese garden outside our window.

We were still sleeping on the floor and every minute of the night I was reminded of that floor, in all of it's polished beauty. Beautiful Japanese floors are not comfortable. For those who think about what a wonderful experience it would be to sleep in a Ryokan, be warned. No matter how nice, how beautiful, how serene, how private - you will pay not only in cash but in pain as you struggle to get up off the floor in the morning while holding your back in agony, swearing on your next trip to find the hotel with the biggest, softest beds and stay there, no matter what the decor or service is.

Otherwise, our trip to Nara and Kyoto was lovely. Nara is the original capital of Japan, home to several amazing shrines and many deer, one of which butted baba-san in the butt as we strolled along the path.

The weather was beautiful, so we spent two days walking around, visiting shrines, taking pictures of the various shrines, the fall foliage, and the other people taking pictures of the fall foliage.

Fall is a unique experience here - everyone is out taking pictures with everything from cell phones to huge single lens reflex Nikons with huge lenses. The behavior is the same:

There is a tree.

With lots of red leaves.

One person stands to take a picture.

Another person arrives.

Then another.

Others notice a bunch of people standing taking a picture and assume it is a good shot, so then they all go over and jockey for the perfect spot. Here are some of ours:

This one's for you Judy - "socks drying - the next generation"
to be continued................................

"Are you going to have grandchildren soon?"

I pondered the meaning of the meaning of this as I sat in front of my computer, staring at the email that contained this most inflammatory question - one that was posed to me by a lovely Japanese woman I had met at a meeting the day before. She herself was leaving in January to visit with her daughter and new grandchild to be born sometime between now and then.

Having a conversation with a Japanese person is an interesting experience. Their age, ability to speak English, whether or not they actually lived outside of Japan all determines the kind of conversation you will have. For those whose English is not completely fluent and whose experience outside of Japan is limited, so is the conversation - in general, the conversation will be very general - the weather, something about the place you happen to be (nice place, lunch, play, etc.). For example, in the US, a common greeting is usually "how are you?". In Japan, that is something considered too private, so the greeting is usually "nice weather" or something benign like that.

This woman clearly fell into this category, so I chalk up her comment to an extremely awkward attempt to converse and find something we have in common. So, I said nothing, answering only her other points in the email.

I did however, for my own amusement and reference should this question ever come up again, come up with the following responses:

1) "I sincerely hope not. I have a three year old and two step-children; 18 and 20 and none of the three are even close to being ready to be parents."

2) "Me???? Soon-to-be grandmother???? I guess the gray roots are showing more than I thought!!!"

3) "No" (better schedule the Botox/face lift/(pick your plastic surgery procedure).

4) Are you *(&%&*)!!!!ing blind???!!!??!?!?!?.....I'm not OLD ENOUGH TO BE A GRANDMOTHER!!!!!! (my own personal favorite

And by the way, I did make the soonest possible appointment with the hairdresser.

And wore a hat until I could actually get there.

On a brighter note, one of the playgroup mother commented that she thought we were both around the same age - 38.

I feel much better.