Today is the day our things are supposed to arrive in Tokyo after six long weeks at sea. We will be one step closer to moving to our permanent apartment and finally having more than four forks. Living in a serviced apartment has been nice; the maid service twice a week in particular; but it requires an ability to do the dishes at an alarming rate since we only have four of everything. Since Jed has been here, we have started rationing plates and utensils in order to be able to get through the day. We could go out and by stuff, but that would just mean shlepping it to the new place and we have enough shlepping to do already. Once our shipment gets through customs, which should take four or five days, we will be able to schedule the move and finally, finally be "home".
I have been obsessed with the move as a way not to be obsessed with the impending arrival of news about our daughter – it could be the end of this week!!!! Every time I think about getting the phone call from the agency telling me I am finally going to be a mother, my eyes fill up with tears, to the point of overflowing. This is fine – right now - in the comfort of my apartment, but not so fine walking down the street or sitting in the subway. People already stare at me: the gaijin (foreigner), as they do every other gaijin; they don’t need the extra excitement of “overly emotional gaijin sitting on train bringing disharmony to her family by making a public show of emotion”. But I can’t help it – the well of motherly instinct and intense love I have stored inside for so long, which has been slowly increasing as the months of wait have passed, is now so full it cannot be contained. Any thought of referral phonecall, phonecall to grandparents, sister, uncles and aunties, and especially holding her for the first time make the tears flow – I warn you now I will be a basket case. As I call to tell you of the news, please ignore the tears and cries, get past the blubbering sobs and hysterical laughter – please just laugh along with me. Because I will truly be most happy.
1 comment:
Jennifer dear, don't worry being an overly emotional gaijin, just know that your friends in the west will be overly emotional TOO when we get the news from you. I know I will cry like a baby on the train, in line at the bank or at my GYN. Wherever I am! The only difference is that in this part of the world no one will notice. We all look forward to you becoming a basket case as we await Mini J's imminent arrival.
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