Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The "Spouse" - Rant #1

Life here in Tokyo for a " spouse", especially a "non-working dependent spouse", is an experience that takes getting used to; particularly in the area of banking. There is no such thing as a joint banking account here. Instead, the husband opens the account and gives access to his wife. Fine. OK. I get it. I am merely an appendage with no importance or ranking on my own. I accept this.

A couple of weeks ago, we went to the bank so husband-san could fill out the paperwork to grant me access to said account and and obtain a supplemental card, so his little "wife-san" could get money for extravagant things like food. Japan is primarily a cash society - places are just starting to take credit cards - and, a very safe one, so having substantial amounts of cash on you at all times is normal and necessary. Amazingly enough, the card was actually going to have my name on it (how lovely of them). They said they would mail it.

Two days ago, we get the letter in the mail saying the postman had tried to deliver it, but no one was home. You see, because it is a bank card, the person who the letter is addressed to must show I.D. and sign for it. Notice the name on the letter:

This is MY CARD, with MY NAME ON IT and they still addressed the letter to "husband-san". What does this mean? Are they giving him one more chance to come to his senses, change his mind and not give the silly little wife access to his hard earned money? Oh, did I mention that he had the option of restricting how much money I took out and how often? (Husband-san is a very smart man and pretended he didn't see that part)

Actually, I think it is a conspiracy to keep me so busy trying to get the letter back from the post office, I don't have time to spend the money because I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF THE BANK BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE THE DAMN CARD!!!!

You see, since husband-san now works 12 - 13 hours days, he is never home to take delivery of the envelope - to show his I.D. and sign his name. In fact, it took him about a week and a half to get his card and in that case, they ended up delivering it on a Saturday. So, I decided to go the post office yesterday to see if I could get said envelope with said bank card. There is a post office right around the corner and I figured it would be there. Oh no, the very kind and polite man told me, this letter was at the Azabu post office about ten minutes away by foot and the office that handles the mail for our home zip code.

So today I went to the Azabu post office, with husband-san's alien registration card as identification and yes, the letter was there, but no, they couldn't give it to me because I WAS THE WIFE. The man patiently and yes, politely, explained that he had to get it "in person" despite the fact I had his alien registration card. Perhaps they thought I took it out of his wallet while he was sleeping. I asked if they could deliver it to his office, since HE WORKS 14 HOURS A DAY. I called husband-san to get the address while the man is standing right there listening to me. After hanging up, the man went to the back and then returned saying VERY POLITELY that they would send it to the post office near husband-san's office (the first one I went to and the one that handles his office's zip code) because- everyone say it with me - HE NEEDS TO PICK IT UP IN PERSON!!!!!

So I smiled and said thank you very much (YOU SCHMUCK!!!!) - Michelle, did I spell that right?

I realize they were being very accommodating to send it to the other post office, the one closer to his office, and that would never happen in New York. And yes, it is very kind and polite of them to do this. And yes, I realize the man tried very hard to make sure I understood him, considering he was speaking Japanese and I was speaking English - But wouldn't it have been easier to just give me the damn envelope??

But, I have foiled their little plot because husband-san has given me his card - ha!!!

5 comments:

Michelle said...

1)hey, when did i become the f+_*&ing authority on yiddish curses?? just because my mother is driving me out of my f%$c*ing mind up here by cleaning away the baby's food before i've finished feeding her and then "putting away" her bottles (and my god*&mn fuc&*ng coffee without which I cannot survive)so i can't fuc#$ng find them in the morning)

2) may i paraphrase you? "you are going to be part of a different culture which does things in a different way than we do. don't expect them to act like westerners." ok, you can hit me now.

3) i didn't say that i passed up the wine, i just meant that i opted for chocolate first

4) i think the whole bank card thing is hilarious. of course, it's not happening to me.

5) all these petty aggravations will seem like nothing when you're taking care of your beautiful girl.

Miss you !

mama J said...

1) find that coffee (or the chocolate, or the wine - now!!
2) did I really say that???
3) that is very reassuring
4) NO, IT'S NOT, NOW IS IT!!!!
5) yeah, yeah, yeah - did I ever tell you just how annoying it is when you sound all reasonable and reassuring like me??

miss you too!!!!

Not The Other Mother said...

Isn't there a "Ms.-San" magazine you can vent to? Jeez, how maddening the bank card thing. I am proud of how you're dealing with all of this. Can you say ulcer? Just kidding, at least everyone is being polite. I am so sick to death of most people in the state of New Jersey and some who hang out in the Duane Reads in NYC (fyi- conversation between a female security guard who was convinced that some old man was stuffing stolen drugstore items down his pants) Imagine overhearing that chat in the next aisle!
I feel like I live in Rudeville,USA.
Anyhoo, I heard about that sort of "custom" happening in the U.K. and in South Africa too. According to one American-wife transplant, all the household utilites have to be in the husband's name as well. I read about a situation where the Gas & Electric guy came to fix something (in London) and refused to do the job because the husband wasn't at home.Can you imagine? WHY YES,YOU CAN!! Just keep on doing what you're doing. I just hope they don't "make you move your neck, OKAY?"

Michelle said...

hey, it's my job to do the reality check thing. and, i found the coffee and the chocolate. did you notice there was no problem locating the wine??

mama J said...

maxnmolsmom,

I need to practice the "move the neck" thing, since I am just a poor white girl. Is there a "moving the neck" book for dummies??

Michelle,

Yes, I noticed. You make me so proud!!