The Party's Over....

Actually, there were two of them. The first was for mostly long time family friends. We would include family, but neither of us has any family close by. So, people that I have known for years, in one case since I was 6, and others that I hope to, show up and eat and drink while the kids play. And play they did. The boys were mesmerized by the Star Wars Wii, complete with light sabers, that we bought Ariana (she is in a Star Wars phase). Jack, the oldest at 11, was an expert and Ariana looked on with admiration. I explained, like I do almost everything these days, that he is good because he practices (hint, hint, hint). The other big draw was the Bay Blades, a gift from her friend Ryder. They started playing the night before, as part of the birthday celebration was having a sleep over. Little tops that spin furiously, she got the hang of it right away.

The girls mostly occupied themselves outside with paddle balls and other hand held games.

They tried Whiffle Ball and had some success (we may have a softball player on our hands) and then ended up downstairs in the playroom. At the end, everyone enjoyed the cake, made by a former coworker who decided on a career change - a great move if you ask me.

On Wednesday, we had a school party for all the kids in her class down at the beach. Luckily, the weather cooperated, so while the kids were running around and making their little backpacks, the parents got to sit and chat. Since it is the beginning of school, it was nice to be able to meet the parents of the kids Ariana would be in class with.

So now we are home playing with all the gifts - other than the Potty Training Barbie complete with 3 little puppies that wee on a pad (I mean really, is this a life skill one has to learn from a doll), they are all fairly useful. Her love of crafts and games has made her forget about the "boy boys" for a little bit, as she sits creating a masterpiece with her new watercolor pens.

She has questioned why no one got her the StarWars Legos. I told her to ask Santa.

“Mommy, what if they bring me girl presents?”

My daughter, while petite and delicate looking, prefers Stars Wars to Barbie. When given a choice, she will pick the blue, the black, the red over pink every time. About to turn 6, she has begun to face the disapproval. “Why do you play with boy toys?” she is asked at school. “Those shoes are for boys,” they say when she arrives wearing her Star Wars sneakers at camp.

Our policy for a long time has been that as long as she dresses herself, she can wear whatever she wants. That has led to some truly bazaar fashion choices, but so be it. I have learned from experience to take her shopping if I want to buy her clothes. Many times, after returning from a store where I thought I made a most appropriate choice, she would look at my purchase and exclaim "I don't like it". Thereafter, the offending item would hang limply in the closet, begging to be taken off the hanger. Now, she comes with me, and after the briefest visit to the girl section to search for things with cats (her latest thing), she heads to the boy’s section for t-shirts with pictures of trucks, dinosaurs and superheroes. Dresses are worn only when circumstance demands and are put on with not an ounce of enthusiasm. Last year, there was only one day, late in the school year, that she put on a dress on a weekday morning. I think it had something to do with her best friend, who was in a dress phase. We got an email from her teacher, exclaiming her shock at seeing Ariana in a dress for the first time, but complimenting her on her adorableness.

This year, in a concession to the comments, she wanted a pair of “girl shoes” too. So, in addition to the sneakers, she picked out a pair of sparkly pink ones. It is those she has been wearing to school, slightly disappointed they don’t light up and flash as she steps. I notice now that she chooses her footwear depending on where we are going. It saddens me to see her caving into her peer’s ideas of what is appropriate, though I smile as she pairs the pink sparkly sneakers with the Spiderman shirt.

As her birthday approaches, she is concerned that because she is a girl, she will get lots of “girl” stuff and not the building sets, light sabers and other Star Wars paraphernalia she craves. “What if I get a lot of girl presents?” she asked the other day. Rather than explain the concept of the “re-gift,” I talked about being grateful for any gift at all. I told her she should just say thank you.

A Lotta Chompin' Goin On

Scratch Scratch Scratch. Itch. Itch. Itch. Ariana and I were both eaten alive last night - our feet and ankles grew swollen and red with each passing minute. Antihistamine, ibuprofen, even little Ampanman mosquito stickers didn't help the itch. Try to imagine the effort involved in trying to get a 5 year old, who had already slept 3 hours in the car, to go to sleep at a regular time. Now imagine that child whining and writhing in pain as the scratching she was doing was not helping one bit and every time she fell asleep, she would then wake, having been bitten one more time. What is most annoying is that we couldn't see the little culprit. Finally, after midnight, she was sleeping peacefully.

This summer has been mostly mild as far as bites go. Other than a couple of feeding frenzies on my feet - one at the beach and the other at a friend's house, I have not been uncomfortable. Ariana has not suffered at all.

Until last night. Comfortably on the couch watching TV, we were time after time, gnawed on by something - spider perhaps? mossie? who knows? At first I thought it was poison ivy, as my toes started to itch furiously and I couldn't see any bite marks. but then, I found first one, than another. Ariana's were easier to spot. Searching the air for anything flying, I couldn't see a thing. Staring at the couch, perhaps to spot something crawling, I found nothing.

All I do know is that here I sit, 6am after getting up around 5am because my feet were on fire. Already ingested the Benedryl and Ibuprofen and patiently waiting for either of them to kick in. Thankfully, Ariana is still asleep.

Somehow, I don't think it is going to be a good day......

Fish and Chips and Croissants and Pies and lots and lots of walking to make it all go away...

Soaking up culture, getting ideas for the house and generally luxuriating in the multi-cultural paradise that is London and Paris, our vacation has been an infusion of soul-feeding sights and sounds.

It has also been a reunion of sorts, meeting up with old friends from Tokyo as they visited with family and celebrated birthdays. We were glad to be able to share in some of these celebrations, which ranged from a large family and friend gathering outside of the city of London to a posh dinner party at the trendiest of restaurants and finally to a small gathering at a Vietnamese restaurant in Paris.

Some of my favorite sights....

I think they made these road signs just for me......

Arny wondered why they didn't just say "Exit", but we are in the UK and mostly we saw these "Way Out" signs. The subway and Underground are not the same thing, as we discovered as we were looking for one to take us back to the hotel and saw a "Subway" sign, only to discover that after making our way down the stairs, down the path and up the stairs on the other side, we were not at the train, but merely across the street.

I loved this - even Londoners with no back yard find space for a garden - this one happens to be in the river on a plot of floating land.


And yes, we have been doing the tourist thing - my own Holmes and Watson.

I tried to get Ariana to go to Hogwarts, telling her she could meet up with Harry and the gang, but she was having none of it.

We are off today to the Victoria and Albert Museum of Childhood and the Spitalfields market, after a brief stop at MI6 headquarters - can you tell who wants to go where??

Floor. Done.

After 9 hours on my hands and knees, one sliced finger and two people banished from the house, we have a kitchen floor. I really have to stop saying "that doesn't look hard".

It was.

Hard.

I started Friday; a very hot and humid Friday, after dropping Ariana off at camp. With the air-conditioning blasting, I had about 5 1/2 hours to finish before I had to pick her up. Assuming that would be enough time (ha!!), I got the supplies all ready and applied the glue to the sub floor, using a brush on the sides and a roller for the rest of the floor. After an hour, it was dry and ready for the tiles. "Wait, how do I do this again?", I thought as I stared nervously at the floor. I quickly realized my first mistake; gluing the entire floor when I need to put the border around first. After a few sticky moments when I thought I might be attached to the sub floor forever, I finally got enough new tile down to make the rest of the installation glue free. The cutting though, seemed to go on forever. Given I was using cork, it was pretty easy, but still, it was a relief when I hit an area when I could lay down more than two tiles without having to cut.

Sticky and sweaty, a quick glance at the clock made it obvious I was not going to be able to pick Ariana up - luckily, baba-san was working from home, so he went and got her and her friend and took them out for ice-cream. The last thing I needed was two 5-year-olds wanting to "help". I was getting tired and the brisk pace now was slowed down by bad cuts on the tile and one slip that resulted in a Sponge Bob Squarepants band-aid on my thumb. I had just changed the blade on the knife, so at least the cut was clean. And really, I was putting in the sweat and tears (almost, a few times when I thought "I can't do this"), why not a little blood?

It was after 5 when baba-san returned and I was not nearly finished. We had a birthday party to go to and I sent them on without me; needing to finish before the glue lost it's stick. I have to admit some of the tiles are a bit messy, but by the time it got past 8pm, I just wanted to be done. Finally, at 8:15pm, the last bit of tile was placed. I grabbed a quick shower and went off to relax with friends, physically exhausted.

Sunday morning came with a soreness I hadn't felt since I had a really good workout (which hasn't happened in eons). It took me awhile to get moving. Wishing I could just lounge for the morning, I knew I had to varnish the floor, sealing the cracks (some a bit larger than intended) so water wouldn't ruin the floor. That was easy and only took about 20 minutes.

We left for another birthday party, spending the day away, leaving the floor to dry in peace. When we returned late last night, the floor was shiny and dry.

Today we will put the house back together; tomorrow after everyone has left for the day, I will put another coat of varnish down and then take myself out; a massage perhaps?

Back to the Kitchen

After a few diversions, some pleasant, some really sad, I am back to the kitchen. In particular, putting down the cork floor.
Myself.
You see, I have this habit of thinking I can do something. Something I have never done before. "It can't be that hard", I usually think before ordering all of the supplies and preparing my family for the fact that I am going to be handy.
So far, the gathering of the supplies needed has been more work than I imagined. The difficulty started after I found the flooring I wanted. The initial contact with the company was great - the pleasant guy answered all my questions and sent me the samples I requested. The problem started when I actually wanted to order the tile. I sent the hand drawn, fairly accurate floor plan thinking I would get back an estimate on the tiles I wanted. Instead, I got an estimate that was about 50% more than I needed; based on the total dimension of the room, not just the area I needed covered (no I don't want to tile under the already installed cabinets, thank you very much!). A few more emails went back and forth with the final "you can order what you want" coming from the less than helpful salesperson. I ended up making a phone call to try and get the guy I spoke to on the phone. Yes, I know I need to order an additional 20% for mistakes, etc., I just don't want to order 2 rooms worth of tile for 1 room worth of work.
My order, finally made, is sitting in neat little piles in my living room waiting to be installed.
Tomorrow.
Yesterday I spent the day prepping the plywood base with the cement based filler that took 6 trips to 3 different supply stores to find. I pray it is the right one. I just now know that any cement based anything dries faster than you want it to and the harder it gets, the harder it is to move around the floor. My entire body is achy, so today, instead of putting the tiles down, I took the day off to recover. Other than carefully marking up the floor and quickly covering it with anything I could find to prevent things little and big from making a mess, I did nothing. Floor related that is.
Tomorrow I will be on hands and knees again - attempting to lay tiles down in a straight line.
Wish me luck.

Channeling Taylor Swift

Lights......

We finally finished the lighting - under cabinet, inset and these beauties, which hang over the penninsula. They are made of Murano glass, with a brushed nickel wire going up to the ceiling.

I did most of the painting last week; what I thought would take a day took a few, as several coats were needed for both the ceiling and the walls. We ended up going with a pale shade of blue, which took applying several samples to get right. Ariana was very helpful, not only helping me paint the walls, but in weighing in with her favorite. The trim needs another coat and then I will be done.

Today though was Father's Day, so well all took a well deserved break and went to the Pepsico Sculpture Garden.........a visual treat of beautiful gardens and some amazing sculpture. Having to go to work there every day can't be all bad, especially if you have a view from your office.

Pizza!!!!

The test - homemade or ready bought crust. The homemade wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be. And, with the granite counters, rolling and kneading were easy. Ariana decided to "decorate" the store bought crust, so I completed my homemade specimen.

Diligently working, Ariana slowly placed the pepperoni (her new favorite food) around the pizza. She ended up lifting my own diligently placed peppers thinking they would make a good addition. Then, into the oven and -


OMG!!!!! - See something wrong with this picture - no cheese!!!!!

That's better.....
Baba-san thought the home made crust was better than the store bought one (honest or just "knows what's good for him"???) In any event, the meal was decent. But now of course if I am going to be making pizza, I need a pizza pan!

It's All In The Details

More than a week after getting all the appliances working, we have moved on to other things. A few replacement cabinet doors arrived, now sitting still in their boxes in the garage. We will get around to putting them on, eventually. Right now we have more pressing things.

The shelves that were delivered were the wrong size. We have been informed that the correct size doesn't exist (salesperson's error) and so we have two choices - have the originals cut down and stained (for another couple of hundred dollars) or buy wood and do the whole thing ourselves. This week I will price out the wood and make a decision.

Baba san picked up the under cabinet lights, which are now installed and doing their job wonderfully. The soft blue glow illuminates what needs illuminating and eliminates the need for the overheads much of the time. I took a trip into the city and, thanks to friend and design expert Kevin, finally found and ordered the small pendant lights that will hang over the peninsula. We celebrated the purchase with cocktails at the W Hotel on Union Square and a short and thoroughly disappointing visit to the Nordstrom Rack that just opened there.

After a frustrating time with the cork manufacturer, I finally ordered the tile for the floor. If I didn't like the tile so much I would have gone elsewhere for the actual tile - where oh where are knowledgeable and helpful sales people anymore? The next three weeks will be spent painting the ceiling and walls and preparing the floor for the installation.

Tonight we will use the oven for the first time - making pizza, also for the first time. It was Ariana's idea. I just found a recipe online for the dough and have a bunch of toppings already to go. With it will be a salad from our garden, or more accurately, the lettuce plants I bought to plant in the garden that have grown so much we can actually eat them - I am so excited!!!

More on the garden and the pizza another time................manga tutti!!!!

Worth the Wait

After two visits from the gas company that installed the stove and another two visits from the manufacturer's repair company, it finally works!!!! Had the gas company guy installed it right in the first place, we would not have had the many phone calls and aggravation that have made the past two weeks extremely unpleasant.

The first time it didn't work, shortly after they hooked it up, we called the gas company. The guy who had installed it shows up, turns on the stove (of course it worked for HIM) and then looked at me like I was nuts and said "it works now".

The second time it didn't work, we called the manufacturer, who called their authorized repair person. Of course, when they showed up it worked, so he checked things, said all was well and left.

The third time it didn't work, and keep in mind it usually decided not to work at dinnertime, we started keeping a log - turning it on at various points in the day and recording what happened. We thought and thought, coming up with the many theories on what was happening - was it the temperature? would it light with a match? We also called the manufacturer again, explaining in detail what was wrong. He again sent the repair person, who again tried it and of course, it worked. UURRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

After multiple phonecalls to the manufacturer by both baba san and myself, the problem was finally diagnosed.
The gas company was called.
They came.
They admitted guilt.
They fixed.
We cooked.
We ate.
Joy.

Patience

We are enjoying our not-quite-finished kitchen immensely. The layout really works and makes things so much easier. Getting used to where things are will take some getting used to, but all in all things are working out well. We still have a bit to finish over the next few weeks.

Monday brings the plumber back to finish installing the dishwasher and the cabinet guy to touch up the surfaces on several of the doors, which arrived; minus some stain, badly stained, nicked and otherwise unacceptable. The range repair person is also coming, since it still is not turning on with any consistency. It did not work at all on Friday and Saturday, but today is working like a charm. Luckily we have the grill outside where we have made our meals.

I have been working out the design for the floor - we are going with cork. There are so many options and colors it took me awhile. Now that the counters are in and we can see how they work with the cabinets, the decisions are a bit easier. I should be able to put the order in next week.

Baba san ordered the under-cabinet lights, which should come in about 2 weeks. While a bit more expensive, he decided on LED lights - more energy efficient and we will never have to change a bulb. I have almost decided on the pendant lights - one more trip down to The Bowery should finalize that.

The only major decision left is the back splash tile. I have some ideas, but will continue to think about it. I probably won't order anything until the floor tile is down so as to see how everything works together. In the meantime, I have to paint the ceiling, trim and walls - VERY CAREFULLY, I might add.

The Counter

Ah, to have real counters again. While we were waiting, baba san got creative and laid down folded cardboard boxes and wood from the old shelves, not just to protect the cabinets but so we could use them until the real thing was installed. That happened yesterday, with three rather large men carrying in the slabs of granite. Of course, that meant I had to clean off the surprising full space of toaster, microwave, various plates, glasses, silverware, etc. that had accumulated.

After that I mostly watched as they grunted and groaned while maneuvering the giant pieces. And then, voila!! I ran my hand over the smooth surface, congratulating myself on the last minute change in stone - baba san decided we should be designing kitchens after he saw the finished work. I just want him to clean up after himself so the beautiful counters stay beautifully clear of miscellaneous objects that seem to appear every time he walks into the kitchen.

My Bert

Bertazzoni that is. A most beautiful range. Now, if only it would work. But, just like an Italian, it needs some sweet talk. Sometimes it turns on right away and others, I can hold the knob until I am frozen and only hear the "click, click, click" of the starter. I have a call into the manufacturer and I am supposed to hear from then today.

Today was one of those days when it turned on right away and I took the opportunity, at Ariana's request, to make some popcorn.

Delish!!!!!

Tomorrow the counter gets installed. I am patiently waiting for the phone call that will tell me the time it will arrive. I can't wait to get everything set up and get the sink installed. As much as I have enjoyed not having to do dishes and to try out the restaurants in town, I am ready to start cooking again.

Especially when I have such a lovely thing to cook on.

The Excitement Builds

The contents of our fridge patiently waiting for their new home. As I write this, the men are installing the new appliances. The gas inspector came by this morning (5 days late) and failed the propane tank, which means the gas guy has to come back and reset it. Then, 24 hours later, the inspector has to come back and "pass" us. Only then can we hook up the "Bert". I must say, sitting in the kitchen still wrapped in plastic, it is beautiful.



Yes, just a tease. The appliances are all on the other wall. But the cabinets are up!!. A slight issue with the finish does not hamper our joy every time we walk in. The molding is going up today and by tonight, we will be able to start unpacking some of our boxes, reducing the clutter in the living room just a bit.

Week One

After much wall ripping down and wall putting back up, wiring, wiring, wiring, plumbing and propaning, we have one wall of cabinets up. Or should I say Matt and Jon have one wall of cabinets up. To say we are happy is an understatement - we are ecstatic!!!

We spent Friday looking at counter tops and the rest of the weekend debating the 3 samples we brought home. We need to decide and order it today. They can't come in and measure until all of the cabinets are in. The appliances come on Wednesday and from then until the counter is installed, we will have everything but the kitchen sink - literally. The sink can't be installed until the counter is in. So, for another couple of weeks, we will be functional kitchen-less. And I have to say, not having a kitchen sink is a real drag, because we can only wash very little things in the sink in the downstairs bathroom. The guilt I feel every time I throw away another plastic plate or utensil is only tempered by, well, nothing. If I was a better person I would be traipsing up and down stairs to the big utility sink in the laundry room, carrying the real plates, cups and glasses.

But I am not.

I did order a composter though...that makes up for something, right???

The Cabinets

In these many boxes that now fill half the garage are our beautiful cherry cabinets. I have spent all morning trying to match up the number of boxes with the order form and cannot do it. Either I have too much or too little. Things like the drawer dividers I know are installed in the cabinet, but other things I think should be there. Like entire cabinets. But of course, on the delivery sheet they are listed one way and on the order form, another. I will just keep my fingers crossed that when they are installed, there is not a gaping hole where one should be.

We sit patiently waiting for the inspector to show - a morning appointment has turned into an afternoon one. In the meantime, our kitchen guys are keeping busy doing other things. Matt left and will return for the inspection - John is here taping a wall and keeping an ear out for the phone. He has a baby on the way that may be on the way a little early. His partner Matt joked that if the baby comes, baba san can fill in finishing the sheet rock, given he did such a good job on the wiring.

Don't know how baba san feels about that...

It Works

After three days of pulling out old wires and putting the new ones in;


It works!!!!

Let's hope the building inspector is as thrilled with the work as we are.

We are Back and It is Gone

Good bye useless stove.

Sayonara ugly linoleum.

Hasta la vista cabinets with the nails dangerously sticking out of the sides.

Good riddance Formica counter made to look like wood.

See ya 80's chandelier.

Since we got back, baba san has been feverishly wiring the outlets, the lighting, the switches and anything else electrical. Ariana, Tess and I have been mostly staying out of his way, except when the sound of "Jennifer..." reaches my ears. Then I enter, hold whatever it is I need to hold, and disappear again as soon as I am released from my "assistant" duties.

Ariana too has joined into the fun, sweeping up the floor - very nicely I might add.

In the meantime, the contents of the yucky cabinets are now scattered in the dining and living room.
My thoughts of organizing everything within easy reach were in the end, just thoughts. While we have found a few things, most of it will stay hidden away until we unpack. We have a supply of plastic plates and cutlery and will most likely patronize our local restaurants for the duration.

3 Reasons Why We Are Redoing Our KItchen

1.
2.
3. Nuff said??

As enthusiastic cooks, we were incredibly frustrated by the poor layout of this kitchen. I have a particular peeve about appliances being right up against a wall and here we have two of them. The fridge hits you in the face when you walk into the kitchen and the stove - well, this is a particular disaster. Not only is it flanking a wall (which I'm sure was a fire hazard even with the metal plate on the side), but the microwave has been mounted too close to the stove top, which makes using the back burners a bit of a danger when you also have things on the front ones.

When one of us is cooking, the other can't be near the sink for fear of getting bumped and possibly injured by a flailing knife or pot of boiling water being moved. With the garbage under the sink, there is no room to quickly throw something out while someone else is cooking or doing the dishes. More than likely, the offending garbage will sit on a counter until the space is free. When the refrigerator door is open, no one can enter.

The cabinets are ridiculously inefficient, with shelves that are not adjustable and no room for anything. We have a big pantry in the kitchen, but with huge shelves, most things get lost and require much searching to find. The layout makes the least use out of the space, which would actually be quite sufficient for a more user friendly one.

We won't even mention the ugliness factor - you see the picture.

So, off we go to visit Nana and when we get back - it will all be gone.

The Prep Work

Packing, packing, packing - where will it end? For the past few days I have been slowing filling box after box with the contents of our kitchen, only to realize I need many more boxes to complete the task. Looking at the open cabinets, it doesn't look like that much, but as the boxes pile up, I realize what seemed like a minor task is turning into something more. Having moved in just about a year ago, there aren't so many "why do I still have this?"s - more like "oh, that's where this is".

Yesterday I took all of Ariana's artwork down - we had put them up all over the walls and the cabinets to hide the hideousness of the kitchen. She got into it and what started in the kitchen crept out into the hall down to the family room. And the living room. Everything from school work to pages ripped out of coloring books to candy wrappers made it up for all to see. The bathroom has a collection of greeting cards going back to her 3rd birthday - a mini trip down memory lane. It will all come down once we paint the downstairs, but for now the creative musings of our daughter are displayed among my mother's realistic oil paintings and the abstract work of Noi Na, the elephant from Thailand.

While we make a short visit to see Nana, the cabinets, some walls, and the mysterious stuff between the walls will be made to disappear. Our appliances will be relocated to the garage, all except the fridge, which will be relocated to the front hall. How convenient - walk in the house - grab a brewsky!! For the duration of the work, we will be trying the restaurants here in town. Even with our old electric stove that took forever to heat and never got quite hot enough, we still preferred to cook at home, so the list of places waiting for us is long. And of course, we will accept any dinner invitations issued - takers anyone??

The Project

When we first looked at our house, it was clear the kitchen was the first thing we had to change. This was back in May. After 9 months of procrastination, we are about to begin. Actually, we have already begun - the cabinets and appliances have been ordered (gulp) the contractor hired (another gulp) the permit applied for (a total bargain compared to the first two). We still need to confirm the plumber, find floor and wall tile and finalize the lighting.

Since several of you want the details, I thought I would use this space to document our progress for the next month or six.

Enjoy!!!

Just Say No

I want to know who the sadistic somebody who decided it would be a grand idea to have the girl scouts annual cookie drive the exact same time of year that I, a confirmed couch potato, and people like me everywhere, are starting their annual migration from the comforts of their own home into a pair of sneakers and out the door to try to work off some of the excess that has not so magically appeared after a winter of holiday dinners and hot chocolate.

At every entrance to every drug, grocery or convenience store are cheerful little girl scouts beckoning you to the table filled with boxes upon boxes of Daisy Go Rounds, Do-Si-Dos, Samoas, and my particular favorite, Thin Mints. Healthy-eating grocery list in hand, it is hard to resist their hopeful little faces as they ask, “would you like to buy some cookies?”

No. Actually I don’t. My cute little muffin top is now a soufflé large enough to serve eight and the extra large sweatshirt I am wearing will hopefully cover up the fact it is jiggling like a bowl of Jell-O. I can’t fit into most of my pants; the “must have shrunk in the dryer” excuse just isn’t cutting it any more. My single chin has doubled as so does the amount of time it takes me to get dressed in the morning searching through my closet for something I can fit into.

I am standing here in my sweat pants and sneakers, having just ran (ok, walked briskly) 3 miles for the first time in months, with a very short list of high protein, low carb ingredients that will not only slim me down, but fill me up with enough antioxidant rich, immune system building, toxin fighting food to lower my Wii fit age to something below senior citizen. A box of Tagalogs just does not fit into that equation.

So, take your corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, your artificial color and flavor and try to work your magic with all of the anorexic women who think the skin and bones look is an attractive one. They could use a little giggle.

Family and Fish

With Jed nearby and Kelsey having a long weekend, the scheduling Gods were agreeable and we all met at Nana and Gramps for a long weekend. Looking back, it might have been the first time we were all together since before Ariana came home - it was really nice. Ariana really enjoyed her big brother and sister and they indulged her, allowing her to use them as ladders and pillows. Unfortunately, with Gramps under the weather, a blanket of sadness covered us all.

By looking at the clothes we were wearing, it seems strange we were in Florida - temperatures in the 40's and 50's meant no shorts, no t-shirts, no swimming. I took Ariana to a park to play and people were in gloves, scarves and hats. But she had a great time. The park had some really cool equipment - more like a sculpture garden than a playground. I shivered as she bounced from one piece to another.


Best of all, she got a ride from her big sister, which I think was the favorite part of the trip.

We stayed at Nana and Gramps place, in one of the guest apartments. It was nice being so close and not having to get in the car to go back and forth to a hotel. Ariana had mixed feelings about it though as she was the subject of so much attention. Since Arny's parents live in a senior residence, they don't see many little kids, so each one that shows up is treated like a celebrity. They had their work cut out for them with Ariana though, as she is mostly silent around strangers and the more they push the more she pulls away. The sense of victory showed when one of them could get her to even look at them and if she waved or actually spoke, the luckily individual had bragging rights for days. More often than not, their words were meant by a blank stare, or, if the conversation seeker was intrusive, a defiant look away. This frustrated them to no end, as they believed themselves to be "so good with children". Hah, not mine. She did take a liking to another guest there, a man who had a very large camera. Ariana took mine and they had a little contest, first snapping pictures of the fish in the large tank in the lobby and then of each other.

Perhaps she will take after baba and become a photographer..

A Good Deed...

"I want to do something more than donate cans of food", my friend says. We are talking about Haiti and the most recent scandal involving a religious group from the United States being arrested for trafficking children. My friend says she wants to look into adopting a Haitian child. "Now that we will be saving money on Billy's schooling, we have the money".

I know how easy it is to read the news media's reports on Haiti, seeing the pictures of the children sitting outside with no food and presumably no family and think how great it would be. Sure, you want to provide a child with a home and loving parents, sure you want to help, sure you want to be a parent (either for the first time or again). Watching the news and seeing the devastation that is Haiti - you can't help but think a child would be better off here, in a warm home with clean sheets and unlimited food.

I wonder though, how many of these people consider anything more than that? When my husband and I first talked about adoption, we certainly didn't - we were caught up in the "we want a child" bubble. It was only after our daughter came home did I really understand what it meant to adopt. Sure, I read as much as I could about every aspect of raising a child who came to the family by way of adoption, who came from another country, with a very different culture. Who was a toddler. And all of the reading helped, especially in the first few months. But it wasn't until she was here, in our home, that the full extent of the responsibility I had sunk in.

Adopting a child means you are also adopting a child's past. Whether a few days old or several years, they all have a history to deal with. Simply bringing a child to a new home, feeding, clothing and hugging them is only the first step. As parents of adopted children, we must walk a fine line between the past and present. Our children's past must be treated with the same respect as their present. That may not be easy when the circumstances are not ideal, but our children's self respect and sense of self is tied to their past just as it is their present. Celebrating their culture is celebrating a vital part of these children. It can be extremely challenging though, when you have knowledge that your child has experienced pain and suffering, when all you want to be angry at the people responsible.

I asked my friend if she understood that she would have to deal with the trauma any Haitian child. If she thought about how that trauma would present itself and if she had thought about how she would handle it. There was silence.

Adoption is not all hugs and kisses.

Prior to bringing our daughter home, we read many books and articles on the issues involved in trans racial adoption. We had anticipated a baby around one year old and when we actually received our referral, we started reading about adopting toddlers and the added needs they have. At 25 months, she was a little person. With language. With memories. With almost a lifetime in an orphanage, what emotions would she bring with her? After over 3 years at home, she still has trouble going to sleep by herself, much preferring to have someone there with her. The insecurity of meeting people for the first time, or being in a large group will sometimes render her mute. With little information on the specifics of her past, the cause is unknown. No matter, attention must be paid. These children of Haiti have a past that has been spread all over the news - I just wonder if the people who are clogging the phones of agencies all over have given that a thought.

Despite what you read in the media, adoption is not as simple as filling out a few forms and waiting. The forms fill a filing cabinet, the certification of those forms take money, the required education many, many hours. The approval process takes months and that is just for the US. There are an entirely separate process required by each country. Each country has requirements for who can adopt, so while you may be eligible in the US, you may not be in the country.

All children deserve to be in a loving home, but steps need to be taken to insure the children available for adoption truly are available. Recent reports of the group arrested for child trafficking makes me sick. Presented with brochures of swimming pools and classroom, Haitian parents sent their children away to what they thought was a school run by a minister, someone they thought they could trust. Little did they know that here in the United States, that same "school" was presented as a place where children eligible for adoption lived until "you are ready to give them a home". These people have somehow taken a religious calling and turned it into a business of deceiving parents into giving up their children. Isn't there a little something in the bible that says "thou shall not lie" - or what about "thou shall not steal?"

Attention must be paid, care must be taken - for the sake of these children.

Logic??

Ariana and I were supposed to be on a plane at 8am Saturday morning to visit Baba, Nana and Gramps in Florida, so of course, Murphy's Law sets in and Ariana gets sick. Since subjecting fellow passengers to the sniffles, sneezes, coughs and sniffle-sneeze-cough related whining of a five-year old is a form of sadistic torture I prefer not to inflict on humanity, I cancel the flight.
Or try to.
After signing in to JetBlue's website, a message appears saying that they are upgrading their reservation system and no services will be available. They instruct passengers who have to cancel or change a flight to go to the airport to do it.
Excuse me???
If I could go to the airport to change/cancel the flight, I would be on it.
I call the 800 number and Wayne, a very kind and polite man answers. Unfortunately, the system is down for this upgrade so he can't do anything about it. He suggests I call back around 2pm. Mmmmm Wayne, my flight is at 8am, so calling at 2 isn't really going to do me any good. He graciously gives me his "number" so I can prove I called before the flight, though there is no way for him to make any record of the call, given the system is down.
Throughout the day, I occasionally try to get through either by phone, but am told "we are experiencing a very high call volume".
Of course you are.

24 hours later, after waiting about 30 minutes "on hold", I am connected to Elisia, a lovely woman who feels my pain, as she is experiencing her own having to navigate an entirely new system.

I think they owe everyone a bag of Terra Blues.....

What A Difference A Day Makes

On Monday, our back yard resembled a waterfall after a drenching rain that with the freezing ground did not drench but rather cascade between the trees to descend ultimately down our driveway. There was really nothing to do but enjoy the view while it lasted.

Today, however, required the whole family's participation.

Yes, this is the same view.

What started out as a school day quickly turned into a snow day as the snow continued to fall quicker than anticipated. A "swell" they call it and I suppose for the many school children it was. For the parents, maybe not so much. 

Ariana and I spent the morning coloring, watching PBS Kids, playing on the computer and doing worksheets that I printed out from one of the many educational websites available. I figured we should do some sort of school work and since she actually likes filling in the blanks with letters and numbers, it seemed like the logical thing to do. As the weather started to clear, I debated going out to shovel. With baba away, it is my job and since I am too chicken to start the snow blower, I figured the exercise would do me good.... eventually. Still inside, we moved into the family room for some Wii time.

Whoever invented this should have a holiday named after them. The Wii is a brilliant devise that brings families together, improves reflexes, balance and coordination for kids and in most cases, just makes you laugh. If you have ever tried the Penguin game in WiiFit, you know what I mean. The funniest one I have found so far is a game where you must move your hips right, left, back or front so you hit the numbers so they add up to ten. Not only do you get a hip workout, but you improve your mind as well, since you have to quickly add up the numbers before you move. That may sound easy, but as someone who is directionally dyslexic, I am telling you it is not. Ariana likes the bicycle obstacle course and I enjoy watching her stamp up and down on the pad.

She had started on the "Snowball Fight" game when I realized "hey, we could do this outside".

At that moment, I looked and saw the neighbors on the driveway, so Ariana and I quickly got dressed and we went out - me to shovel and Ariana to play. Tess came as well and ran immediately to the big dog that belongs to the lady next door. 

The other neighbor. 

The unfriendly one. 

The one who has yelled at me twice already about Tess going onto her lawn.

Luckily, she was on her cell phone and so she only watched as Tess ran around on her lawn and Ariana followed her, sliding down her hill on her little butt. She didn't say a word to me about either of them. Perhaps she was too preoccupied with her conversation to get irritated. 

While I waited for another lecture on why I should prevent my dog from peeing on her lawn, I was busy shoveling. 

And shoveling. 

And shoveling. 

I did have help for a short time as Ariana decided that what I was doing looked like fun. Her shoveling lasted longer than I thought, but it didn't last that long as she preferred to make snow angels. Finally full of snow, she was ready to come inside and I had my fill of aerobic exercise, so in we went for some well deserved hot chocolate.

As the sun went down, we noticed little white flakes, gentle at first, falling from the sky. Heavier and heavier it came, prompting me to think I better get ready for more shoveling.

And more angels.

A Little Bit Bad

The other day, in an act I like to think of as a celebration of life, I bought Ariana a bag of Cheetos.

Earlier in the day, I had been discussing the very large topic of being a mother with a friend of mine, someone I consider an excellent mother who is currently plagued by the self-doubt that we all experience from time to time.  Many times this self-doubt involves food choices. Not satisfied with the common sense “healthy food in - junk food out “ mantra, we now torture ourselves with just how healthy our healthy food is. Whole wheat used to be good enough. Now, it must be whole grain, preferably organically grown whole grain. Low fat used to be good enough – now, only hormone, antibiotic free roaming cows milk will do. Or better yet, soymilk.  And God forbid you give your child something unhealthy, you risk the evil stares from parents whose mission in life is to educate you about what poisons you are feeding them or worse, you risk being told, “you know you are killing your child with that” (this was actually said to a friend of mine, I am not making this up).

Going to the store these days requires a lot of patience and a good pair of reading glasses to see the sometimes miniscule print in which the ingredients are listed.

As an experiment, I spent ten minutes comparing the leading organic Mac and cheese to good old Kraft – just to see the difference.  Between the chart and the really small print below the chart, which required me to hold the box at arm’s length under a strong light just to read, I was more than just slightly confused. The chart lists the stats for one cup “as prepared” and then a tiny little asterisk states “amount in mix when prepared”, with slightly different ones. What is the difference? No wonder parents are confused these days. The organic brand with all of its organic ingredients had less Calcium and Iron than the Kraft. It did have more protein, but also more fat if you add the butter, which is listed as a suggestion for “richer flavor”. It would also have more calories.  They were about equal on salt and carbohydrates. So, do you go for more vitamins or go the organic route? Therein lies the dilemma.

Recent events bring it all home for me. We have choices that are almost mind-boggling. Let’s look at milk. Generally thought of as a healthy food. Full of calcium and vitamin D – great for growing bones. Now comes the hard part. Full fat or low fat? If you are going low fat, do you buy 1 or 2%? Perhaps go for fat free? What about vitamin enriched? Organic or just hormone free? Regular old milk flavored or vanilla or chocolate or strawberry?

People in Haiti would settle for any milk at all. And so would most of the people in the world.

So why? Why do we torture ourselves? The quest to be perfect and worse put that expectation on our children is pointless, as life just doesn’t work that way. If you eat in a restaurant, go to dinner at a friend’s house or have your child play at another’s house, you have little control over the quality of what is served.  Sure, you can bring your own food, but do that and then take a look at your child’s face  - I don’t think it is a smiling one. 

So after swimming class, Ariana wanted a snack from the machine, this being a very fun thing for a 5 year old. So, we scanned the selections and while I suggested the popcorn or pretzels, her eyes were fixing on the little orange bag with the tiger on it. I thought of all the unhealthiness in that little bag – the mystery ingredients that contained the artificial colors and flavors I should shun. But, I also thought that standing there, I had the luxury of choice and every once in awhile it’s ok to make the choice to stop thinking and just listen to my child. So, as Ariana slipped the quarters one by one into the slot, I got ready to lift her up so she could push the magic numbers, and then we both watched as the little bag of delicious poison dropped into the slot.

She rode home in her booster seat, crunching away and when we got home, she proudly showed me her little orange fingers. With a big smile on her face. I have to tell you, that smile was worth a little badness.

Christmas in Connecticut

Well, I tried.

Having gathered all the pictures taken over the holidays and artfully arranged them for your viewing enjoyment, at this moment you were supposed to be looking at the first holiday season in our new home. The scene on Main Street during the event that starts off the season, filled with lights, horse drawn carriages, ice sculpture and Santa; the snow that has blanketed our lawn since late November; Baba gallantly clearing the snow with the snow blower; pictures of Ariana lighting the Hanukkah candles; Baba chopping down the Christmas tree; Ariana decorating the tree; our Christmas dinner with the Humphreys and my beautiful (if I do say so myself) Christmas pudding; Pictures of our trip to New Hampshire to see cousins Suzan and Woody - complete with the most beautiful blizzard I have ever seen; the fun time we had at Melissa and Kevin's Kwanzaa party; our New Year's Eve party with fireworks and funny hats; the snowman.

But, you will just have to use your imagination.

Because.

I cannot figure out how to get the pictures into the blog.

Because.

I got a new computer.

Because.

My old one kept shutting down for no reason.

Because.

It was a piece of crap.

So.

Baba generously buys me one as a combo Birthday/Christmas gift. And for some reason, my ability to learn yet one more machine has left me. With a move from one country to another and a new house, there are lots and lots of new instruction manuals piled up and waiting to be read. New phone, new car, new vacuum cleaner, new lawn mower (ok, that's Baba's job) and last but not least, the new computer.

I sit.

I read.

I get bored much to quickly to actually absorb any of the many instructions there are.

I try to find my way around and get the most basic stuff. But anything more than searching the web and sending email allude me. I have faced my loss in technological intelligence and signed up for one-to-one lessons they give in the Apple store. The first lesson was spent trying to figure out how to sync my computer to my phone without having my address book appear more than once. Simple solution? My instructor had to go and ask for help about 4 times and guess what? I still have my address book syncing twice. And he gets paid to help people.

So, you will have to trust me that we had a lovely holiday, Ariana continues to be adorable and our house is slowly shaping up. And, one of these days, I'll have pictures to prove it!!!