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On the eve of election day in the US, here I sit in Japan wondering when I will get to see my child. I sit, paralyzed to do anything much but think and worry and stare at the computer willing it silently to bring me some word. Others are angry, fuming, irate at the lack of information – Frankly, I don’t care about the whys - I just want to see my child. In the meantime, I make a feeble attempt to stay busy. It’s not working though. While everyone else seems to be going on with their lives, I wait, without being able to concentrate on anything productive. I try to make plans, I try to get away from the computer and I am stuck like glue..
and I wait.
I walk back and forth from her room, re-folding clothes for the umteenth time, wondering if she has grown out of them and if I should go buy more..
and I wait.
I reach into the crib, making sure I am tall enough to reach to the bottom so I will be able to pick her up when she needs comforting. My arms just barely touch the mattress....
and I wait.
I practice folding and unfolding the car seat/stroller, so I will be able to do it quickly and reassure her that her mother isn’t totally inept and uncoordinated. ..
And I wait……..